A few weeks ago you posted a question in the sis section on mc about showing your hair to your husband to be.. anywayss someone asked almost same question on almaghrib forums and this is what shaykh Abu Ammar Yasir Qadhi said:
Salaam Alaikum
I apologize for the delay in responding...I was traveling back to Madinah and was (and still am) extremely busy.
It is absolutely permissible for a sister to beautify herself in front of a possible suitor when he comes to visit her in the presence of her wali.
The evidence for this is qiyas awla (a priori anology) - if he is allowed to look at her without her knowledge, and in fact might even see her in situations/ scenarios in which more than what is normally exposed will be shown, then of course he may look at her in a beautiful garment or with make up on. (NOTE: Please, brothers, don't abuse this privilige, and don't play games with the Sharee'ah: yes, a brother may spy on a sister if he is interested in marrying her, but as Ibn Qudamah and al-Mawardi and an-Nawawi and many scholars state, this is ONLY allowed if he is dead serious, and if he presumes that the sister's wali will allow him to marry her. Otherwise, if he knows that his proposal will be rejected or if he's not in a situaiton to propose, then such looking is merely zina of the eyes).
In fact, for her to look beautiful and (to put it blunty) be a fitnah for him is something which she should do if she's really interested in him. Now, the factor of 'looking her normal self so as not to deceive him' might be true, but at the same time she is allowed to make herself appealing to him. That is precisely what the Prophet (SAW) said when he told the man to go look at the woman, "...for it is liable to establish love between you."
As for the restrcition by some scholars that he can only look once, this has no basis. When the woman came and offered herself to the Prophet (SAW), the narrator says that the Prophet (SAW) looked at her '...up and down,' meaning that he took his time and decided whether he wanted to marry her or not.
As for the other restriction that some mad-habs place that he cannot look at her with any pleasure (shahwah), then frankly I just have to state that I don't understand how they can make such a statement. How is it possible for a man to look at a woman whom he's interested in marrying and NOT look at her in that way??? That is why Ibn Qudamah and al-Mawardi both refute that opinion and say that it is completely permissible to look at one's proposed wife with pleasure, and more than once, but only until he makes up his mind that he will propose, after which he should propose.
It is allowed for a man to see '...what normally appears' of a woman, such as her hair, arms, face, etc. If she's wearing a scarf, he may request her to take it off and see her hair. HOWEVER, it is her right to refuse (but that might not be a good idea if she wants him as a husband!!). In other words, this is not something that he can demand of her, but it is his right to know what her hair is like. Additionaly, he may look at her body beneath her clothes (sorry for being so explicit, but this is an issue which everyone should know about). Ibn Qudamah cleary states that he may see '...her places of flesh,' meaning from behind her clothes. Since physical beauty does play an important role in marriage, and each man has certain features which appeal to him in a woman, then he is allowed such leniencies which are otherwise not allowed.
Similarly, she may look at him with pleasure, and see what normally appears of his body.
Hope that answers the question.
BTW, this is my conclusion on this issue after studying the evidences and reading a number of fiqh books, including al-Mughni and al-Muqni and ash-Sharh al-Kabeer and al-Insaaf. However, just to make sure and add some weight, today I called up Sh. Ahmad (one of Sh. Shanqiti's main students), and he also confirmed these opinions.
And Allah knows best...
Wa Salaam
Yasir
Comments:
As-Salaamu 'Alaikum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuh,
Jezaaki-Allaahu Khairen ukhtee.
I love you for the sake of Allaah and beyond dudette, and always will.
Your always in my du'a.
Was-Salaamu 'Alaikum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuh.
Jezaaki-Allaahu Khairen ukhtee.
I love you for the sake of Allaah and beyond dudette, and always will.
Your always in my du'a.
Was-Salaamu 'Alaikum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuh.
wa 'alaikum assalaam wa rahamatullahi wa barakaatuhu,
wa eyyaki khair al jazaa'.
may he for whos sake u love me love you.. wallahi same here ya ukhti..
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wa eyyaki khair al jazaa'.
may he for whos sake u love me love you.. wallahi same here ya ukhti..
