ok so I haven’t updated for like a week, guess its about time to do an update. I've seriously been so busy and when I do find time to come online I use it up mostly in talking and answering emails. So ya..
Alhamdulilah I was finally able to sign up for my last five classes. Its seriously been so annoying trying to get that straightened out. Took a bunch of emails and phone calls but at the end all the credit issues are taken care of.. Hermiston high wouldn’t accept the homeschool credits so I was like 7 credits short or something. And like in Hermiston u only gotta have 23 to graduate, in
Other than that I have the six Islamic classes.. alhamdulilah those are going well.. its actually really really nice to get up everyday knowing I have two classes to "Attend". lol its also kind of fun couse I know that khala Ghada, rasha, taghreed, ummqoossy are taking them with me and ammi, and when I look at the students on it shows their names.. and then if I log onto msn or yahoo during the class then I know usually umqoossy, rasha, and sometimes khala Taghreed would be on. And then my mom yells at us and tells us to pay attention to the class :P accept I'm the only one that actually gets yelled at lol. The only real thing that is kind of hard is that the first class is at 5:30 am so I have to be up right after fajr. I could listen to the lecture from the archive later, but its just cooler to listen live.. and I know that if I don’t then more than likely I'll get busy and not listen to it later.
Alhamdulilah preparations for the move are going pretty good. A LOT is packed already, even though there are like three weeks left. Yesterday my dad had me pack my room, I was like whats the point it barely has anything in it.. so I went upstairs and packed like one box and I told my mom I needed all the other stuff lol. She was like I know but try to pack at least one more, so I found the computer box in my closet and put my computer in it.. and then packed up another box with books I still need but I figured I could use them out of the box just as easy as I could off of the shelf.
With my dad being home all the time, he seriously hasn’t left the house for more than 5 hours in the past 9 days its kinda stressful and workful. But alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal. Got a lot done I guess. I'm sort of exhausted though. Since I'm up every day from fajr, work all day, sleep a couple hours and then get up again around 1 or so and maybe get another hour or half hour before fajr. lol today my mom couldn’t wake me up for fajr :S she came in and I was like ok ok im getting up.. so she left, usually I'll get up right away.. so when I didn’t she came again like three minutes later and I was like ok I'm up.. and then my dad goes "MARYAM" and I was like AIGHT IM UP lol..
Anyways, that’s what I've been up to really… nothing special, just a bit busy.. inshaAllah maybe I'll post more.. Allahu 'aalam..
Ahh.. man so everythings finally starting to sink in.. all this moving talk and stuff.. in a way its great, but at the same time its not. I really hate to move, like even though this move is inshaAllah in my favor I'm in my anti moving mood :P.
Todays been a weird kind of day. I'm really not sure how I've found the time to come online as much as I have but alhamdulilah. It's been filled with work and discussions really. Its funny how we (me, mama, baba, sis) could be discussing one thing and then jump to a totally other thing. For example, we were talking about the move and somehow my dad started to rant about me getting married :S.. or we were talking about books and it somehow got to talking about moving overseas.. lol..
Me and ammi packed up all the bookshelves today :(. My dad always wants them packed first thing, and my mom last thing lol.. it was kinda fun though. I jacked a bunch of my moms books :D lol.. she kinda doesn’t mind though. A bunch of her books are pilled on my desk anyway couse that’s where we read and stuff, in my room. But ya I took a bunch of her shi'ir books, her copy of zaad al ma'ad, and some other stuff..
My moms in kinda not a good mood though :(. Shes all depressed and stuff.. I dunnu why.. I hate it when my mom gets like this.. couse shes always like the rock that keeps everyone going.. subhanAllah.. inshaAllah khair though, I guess everyone has to break down at one time or another.. inshaAllah tomorrow she'll be better..
My dads getting me a new computer inshaAllah :D.. he wont tell me but I know already :P.. sometimes hes not to good at hiding things.. lol.. you know the feeling that your parents are happy with you? its like one of the best ever alhamdulilah…
Anyways, I'm like in my pajamas, lol seriously.. I just put a one piece salaah thing over me when I got up :S .. so I gotta go change and stuff… and then finish up dinner..
OH YA!! Tomorrow we gonna go to
The house starts to look like this

lol.. this was originally posted in one of the sisters sections.. I honestly have to say the second one was funnier :P
This is something that I'm sure most people have struggled to do at least once in their life, and I know for a fact its something that I struggle with sometimes on a daily basis. A lot of times the thing is really of no importance but its just our weakness that doesn’t allow us to let go of it or stop it.. lately there was one such thing for me.. and in talking me self out of it/getting rid/over it I remembered this story that I heard a couple months ago, and I just thought subhanAllah..
A couple months ago I was at Umm AbdulQudoos's house in one of the bedrooms while her husband was in the living room talking to his mom on the phone, he was leaving that night for
The brothers in our community, alhamdulilah, are very active in da'wah in the prisons. Every Saturday our ameer and some brothers go to one of the local prisons, give talks, and hold activities. Along with holding sending someone to give jumu'a and eid khutbas when they can. Anyways he was telling his mom how the day before he was at the prison with Amu Abu Qays and that during his talk Amu mentioned something about organ transplanting. He said that one of the inmates became very interested and started asking for more information on it, amu not seeing why it would be important to talk about this subject and seeing that other things would be of greater benefit didn’t answer him very thoroughly
After the talk and stuff that one brother took Abu AbdulQudoos aside and told him that he had hepatitis C (I think?) and that because of it his liver was failing and that he had been on a list for a liver transplant for a few years and only recently was he contacted and told that there would be one for him soon. As Abu AbdulQudoos was telling this story you could sense that he was tearing up. He want on to tell his mom how the brother, with tears in his eyes, told him "I've been waiting a long time for this, but if its against islam/haram then I wont accept it". He then asked him if he could find out more for him and get back to him, Abu AbdulQudoos promised him he would. After hanging up with his mom he was planning on calling up one of the shayookh overseas and talking it over with him, but I fell asleep before he did..
Everytime I think of this story I'm like subhanAllah.. This brother was willing to give up his life for the sake of Allah, when he very easily could have said he didn’t know any better and went on with it.. but we cant give up the small things that stand between us and Allah :(. May Allah swt make us stronger.. aameen..
This is an arabi poem zaineb wrote for me.. lol.. it like seriously made my day..
dude whats up with the blog template :S.. everytime I try fixing it, it gets more messed up lol.. khair inshaAllah.. I'll try more tommorrow.. I waisted my time trying to fix it and didnt get to post what I wanted :(
UmmQaylah convinced me to post this here... originally posted in one of the sisters sections..
A couple weeks ago a friend of mine showed me a quote (cant remember it exactly) "Although the grass may seem greener on the other side, it’s the fruits that grow in our own orchards that we need the most" and asked me on my reflections on it. My instant reply was that although we always wish for what other people have we have all we really need, but we fail to realize it. They had similar reflections on it, adding to what I said though they said that sometimes we don’t realize the value of what we have until we loose it.
The way I was thinking when I told them my reflection wasn’t material things, but rather the situations we go through everyday. A lot of times we look at our problems and think that everyone else is better off than us, yet we fail to see the good that comes from these difficulties. We also fail to realize that sometimes the people that we think are the "best off" "carefree" etc. are sometimes the ones that go through the most.
I have a friend, one of the sweetest and kindest people I know, often people consider her well off, think she has everything anyone could dream of, and wish they were in her shoes. But how many times has she told me things like "Maryam, I really hate my life." or "you're the only one that understands me and what I go through, I just wish I could die.". We often look at our problems and trials and think that there can be no one else in the world going through anything worse, but we never bother to look at all the orphans and masakeen in the war torn countries, we just continue to drown ourselves in our own sorrow.
Everyone reacts to a difficulty/trial/problem in a different way, and each person has their own tolerance level. For example, two friends, A and B, each could be going through a difficult time with A's situation 10x harder but Allah swt has given him sabr and contentment so they appear to not be suffering as much as B who's situation is a lot simpler.
Another lesson I get from this quote is that sometimes the situations we go through are exactly what we need, even if they might look like obstacles and difficulties. Like most people I haven't had the easiest life but when I look back and reflect on the things I've been through I realize how much I have gained from these situations, and I really think it's made me a better/stronger person. Everything we go through is for a reason, and there is a hikma behind it, we just can't see it. And who knows maybe that one difficult or test your going through could be the reason for you to enter jannah if you are patient through it..
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, or if it makes any sense. Its just something that’s been on my mind, and I felt that I needed to write it.. happens a lot.. usually I'll save you all the pain of having to read it and just post it on the blog, but I have reasons not to this time. Apologies in advance ![]()
Lately I've been almost in my own world. Just deep in thought. Its weird, I guess some things are bothering me… alots going on.. and its caused me to "think" all the time :S. I'm not sure if that makes sense, lol.. but UmmQaylah knows what I'm talking about. I can barely sleep at night couse I'm thinking to much, and in the day time I can't do anything productive because I'm constantly day dreaming. How many times have I gone to my room with the intention of reading, memorizing, or studying and then ending up doing nothing but lay down on my bed and think…
Last night me and UmmQaylah had one of those heart to heart talks. Alhamdulilah it was nice, I don’t think we'd been so open with each other in a while. And even though I didn’t talk to her about everything, just knowing that someone understands me and understands how I'm feeling made me feel good. It also got me thinking about that one quote "The grass may seem greener on the other side, but the fruits needed most are the ones that grow in our own orchards" how often do we think we are the only ones with problems or going through hard times.. and how often do we forget to look at the good that comes from these trials…
I'm confused about a lot of things, and worried about a lot of things. I know for a fact I'm the type of person that worries about things to much, sometimes its good sometimes it not.. It's just about confirmed that we'll be moving (my whole family..) within a month or so.. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to post, or be on this week.. so just keep me in your duaa's.. even though he's not supposed to I'm pretty sure my dads gonna have us head to Corvallis this weekend.. so I guess I wont be on much this weekend either.. khair inshaAllah.. I dunnu.. things are just weird.. but alhamdulilah..
My parents are so ready to leave this country lol.. both of them.. they cant stand it anymore.. I'm like great.. watch it never happen though.. but they're thinking about it.. dunnu what it'd be like, and dunnu how much I'd like it.. so ya that’s another thing to think about.
I read to my mom the two poems that I wrote for the almaghribNW contest today.. I guess she thought it was sweet lol.. couse I dunnu I usually don’t say lovey stuff to her.. I show her my love in other ways.. anyways here are the poems.. I won 2nd prize somehow :O and no I didn’t bribe sabika, ya zaineb :P btw I dont take full credit for the second one.. lol.. a certain sis helped me out a bit in it..
My mother : A tribute. Life is but a collection of memories Ya ummi my debt to you is ever so immense! From the moment I opened my eyes The seed of love for the deen you planted inside me All the days you spent teaching me Ya ummi my debt to you is ever so vast! You are always there when I need you Ya ummi my debt to you is ever so much! No matter what I say my words are cheap I ask that Allah (swt) rewards you immensly for what you've done Ya ummi my love for you is ever so deep!
But there is one that is deeply rooted in my heart
Its the memory of someone that was there from the start
You've been by my side
Helping me each step of the way
Watering it with your words of wisdom
And nourshing it with your advice
Ya ummi my debt to you is ever so great!
All the nights you spent in prayer
All the du'as you made
All the tears and all the pain
Insha' Allah it hasnt gone in vain
To console in and turn to
When I need a shoulder to cry you
You offer me yours
And when I feel alone in this world
I know to you I can turn
Weighed against the sacrfices that you have made
My actions can't pay back even 1%
For I could carry you to Makkah and back
And it wouldnt amount to even one kick
And grants me the honor of fallowing in your steps
To you Yaa Ummi,
I opened my eyes, for the very first time
I saw a smile that day especially for me
All throughout my life
It was a comfort that’d be
When I began to walk, and talk
The same old smile I’d see,
So proud and happy
Of her little girl…that was me!
I grew up slowly but surely it’s true
The only one who I could turn to
Was you
The hand I could hold,
The company I could share
Never disappeared,
It was always there
The love was unconditional
No ifs or buts needed
If I was hurt or in distress
It was her heart that bleeded
I could never repay this debt
So big, so precious
Is this person
In my heart
From the very first moment we met
I posted this before, but I feel it needs a bumping up..
I don’t think I'm going to be online as much as usually. This is because of a few reasons, and no nothings wrong really.. alhamdulilah everything is fine. I just think I spend and waste to much time on the net and I need to focus on some more important things.
Alhamdulilah I finally got a reply from CVHS so I got my transcript thing taken care of.. and I finally got around to filling out the application for the other school. Now I just have to write them a letter explaining the whole credit thing.. couse I think 10 or so of my credits are considered "homeschool" credits and don’t show on the transcript… only 14 show on it.. and then there are the rest of UofO classes that don’t and the "homeschool" ones.. so ya I have to write that and then send in the application.. and I wanna finish these classes within three months so its going to be kinda lot of work..
Other than that I've signed up for the online Islamic Academy. Khala Umm Abdur-Rahman already finished one of the classes (seerah) and got a 96% on her test lol.. she was pouting about it.. inshaAllah Umm AbdulQudoos is starting too and khala Umm Abdullah(Rasha) so its gonna be nice.. Its pretty intense amount of work though, so its going to take up quite a bit of my time. From what khala Umm Abdur-Rahman said (she knows the most since shes already started) she said it’s a three year program and at the end you get a diploma in sharee'ah and that they are trying to get it recognized by different Islamic universities as a BA or something.. dont really matter anyways.. so ya
I also want to go back to my hifdh. I kept telling everyone "let me finish this semester and I'll start again" well the semester is over and I aint don’t nothing. InshaAllah I hope to get started on that.
Its not that I wont be coming online, its just that I'm going to try and limit it a bit. And I might be online but on appear offline a lot while I'm studying etc.. but ya.. ya'all know me I cant live without my net :P so its not going to be a major limiting.
lol it seems like every other entry I post up is about my weekend or going to
My dad told us "The reason I'm going to
When we got there I figured there was still 45mins till the khutbah so I could get a small nap before 'amu Awad showed up, but things didn’t go as planned. A few minutes later a student from OSU showed up for her worlds religion class or something. My mom was in the musalah so I had to sit with her. A little later another girl shows up and then another and another, by the time salaah started there were six girls me, my mom and khala Summayah. Both my mom and khala were in the musalah and since I couldn’t pray I was the only one outside with them :S. It was kinda weird, ya'ani we are used to students coming from osu etc but I had never been alone with them having to explain everything etc. Khala Ghada always talked to them or khala Dalia or my mom or just about anyone other than me!! Alhamdulilah it went ok though (or at least I hope so). There was one girl that was really really interested in Islam more than the rest. She stayed until after salaah and then said she was going to try to come back later on at the dars time and asked me for my email.
After salaah finished I found a book and kept reading until almost 4 or so. Mama wanted me to get her something from the store and I was in the mood to treat myself out to candy :P so I walked to freddies. There is a gate in the masjid fence right by the women's entrance that takes you straight to kings and then you cross the street and your at the store so it’s a pretty easy walk. The only thing I hate about it is having to cross kings couse its probably one of the busiest streets in
A little after I got back to the masjid another girl from the worlds religion class came, and then my sister and friend and everyone else started showing up. Alhamdulilah had a good time at the dars. Chilled out with some people, got yelled at for talking to Umm Yusif during the dars :P etc.
Next day we were supposed to go to khala UmmAbdurRahmans for lunchish/dinnerish but my mom was supposed to make waraaq 'anib and Umm Qoossy wanted us to go over for a bit as well. So we walked 20 blocks or so and I had to carry the heaviest backpack ever lol.. along with some things we needed it had the waraq 'anib jar, pot, and mix so mama could roll them while we were at Umm Abdul Qudoos's. Alhamdulilah it was worth it though. Had a great time at her place. Me and her pretty much just sat in her room online eating candy and drinking juice :P. I fixed her webcam for her so she gave me my digital camera back :D
After that we went to khala Umm Abdur-Rahman's house and stayed there until just about midnight. It was pretty nice alhamdulilah. Spent a lot of time reading though, which was also nice.Abdur-Rahman is such a cutey MashaAllah. I really love that kid like so much. But no one is like AbdulQudoos, that kid is MY baby. Every time I see him, even if it’s a month since the last time, he come running to me.. he wont eat from anyone elses plate lol man hes so adorable I miss him so much :(. I got some pics maybe I'll post one up.. or just ask me and I'll show u inshaAllah.
Anyways Sunday morning we went to khala Aishas and had breakfast there, since all the men were at Amu Kais's. Khala Umm Mish'al was making a biiiig 'azeema for all the women at her house later that day at like 4 so we stayed with khala Aisha until almost that time. After eating and stuff we started on making makloobah couse khala Umm Mish'al had asked her to make it for her. After dhuhr khala Faykah called and asked her if she wanted to go for a walk, and she said ya and if she could bring Tassnym but she said that she had to much homework and if she came now she couldn’t go to the 'azeemah later.
We went walking at this place close to khala Aisha's and our old house that they always go to (other than cheldlin track).. the john frazier wetlands or something. Its pretty MashaAllah. I had known from the day before that we were going to go walking so I was like ok ill wear shalwar kamees so it'll be easier and usually it would be but for some reason the abayah I was wearing with the shalwar made it harder than if I had worn skirt or thoub. Anyways… each round is almost a mile and me, khala 'Aisha and my sister did 6 laps my mom and khala Faykah did 5. We were going at a faster pace than them so we ended up getting to go a whole extra lap. Usually when we go to the wetlands me and Tassnym would be in the very back barely keeping up couse we would be yapping away but this time since she wasn’t I was going fast.
After them laps khala Faykah was like we better get going couse there was like an hour and half till we had to be at khala Umm Mish'als so we left. Back at khala Aishas we finished up the makloobah and then my baba came picked us up and took us to khala Umm Mish'als like half hour early. lol when we first got there I started playing tennis with her kids in the living room :S my mom was like "omggg 'ayb 'alaiki your older than that" bess it was fun :D.
Alhamdulilah the time I had at Khala Umm Mish'als was probably the best of the whole trip. Just getting to see EVERYONE and chilling out and stuff. We ended up leaving like wayyy early couse my dad didn’t want to go back to late which really sucked, I would have given up all the other things we did this weekend to just have stayed longer but alhamdulilah.
On the way back we were all kinda mad at my dad, couse when he went ALONE a couple weeks ago he didn’t leave till 9 but this time he made us leave at like 6 and we were with him :(. Non of us really talked all the way to
After we left the masjid, my dad goes "Maryam" and I go like ya?
Him: some girl named "
Me: oh ok
Him: you know who that is?
Me: ya
Him: who?
Me: Remember the Islamic confrenc/camp I went to in
Him: ya
Me: And the one before that?
Him: uha
Me: ya, there was this girl named "
Him: uha
Me: anyways "
Him: Salim has a sister?
Me: Ya we're really good friends
Him: I didn’t know that…
Him: so this is Salims sister?
Me: No, she just knows her
Him: How did she get my cell
Me: I think I called it from her before
Him: hmm ok
LOL the funniest thing of this is I found out later on that when UmmQaylah called my dad asked her "who are you" and she told him and then asked her "oh your from Portland?" and she made it look like she was.. I had NO IDEA about this, but I somehow used the same thing.. which is good couse if I didn’t he woulda been like hmmmmmm.
Anyways we got home around 11 or so.. and I was tired went straight to bed.
.:Du'aa:.
O Allah let me live in this dunya only as long as it is good for my aakhirah.. aameen.:Words:.
"If you lose hope in all people and you don't ask anything from them, your Lord will give you all that you want." ~ Fudayl bin 'Iyaad.:Links:.
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