Today and yesterday have been really blah days.. I havnt been this frustrated/depressed in a while.. alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal. I think its a few things together that have gotten me like this, mostly things at home.. when things at home are good I can cope with other things, when it goes downhill then I start to not be able to cope as good and start getting depressed. Thats not to say that they have been totally bad, they just havent been to good..
There were two things that really brightened my day yesterday, the first was finally hearing from someone that I hadnt heard from in a long time. Although I wouldnt say we are really close, they are a bit special to me so it was nice. The second thing was getting a phone call from Aliyah, I was just full of smiles alhamdulilah. She really misses being up here, and I dont blame her... the bay area aint exactly the nicest place to be at. but alhamdulilah it was a nice phone call. She said she had wanted to email me but didnt want to sidetrack me from my exams, I was like awwwwww lol..
As far as today goes, I didnt really sleep last night, got up from fajr, then went to bed around 10ish and slept till 12:30. Got up, took a shower, prayed dhuhr, did paperwork for my dad, wasted some time online and now am updating.
ya'know I dont think anything hurts as bad aso you doing a favor for someone and then they turn around and betraying you. It just hurts so bad... Thats kinda what happened to me last night.. I kept a secret for someone, and I'm thinking now I probably shouldnt have but ya.. they end up telling about it and then going "oh BTW Maryam knew about it" and its like what was that for? I help you out, and you do this? And that causes someone else, more important to me, to be a bit mad at me.. but wallah the only reason I kept it was to eliminate more problems.. khair.. I'm mad still :(..
I talked to Tassnym today, she asked if I was done and when I said ya she kept typing in caps for like an hour. I honestly think she was more excited than me.. lol.. I miss her :( havnt seen her in like two weeks almost.. dammm.. I miss everyone.. lol its amazing how when you get into a down mood it seems like you havnt talked to anyone you care about for ages even if it was the day before..
The other day I was over at khala Aisha's house and we were talking about what I wanted to do etc, and I told her I wanted to try and learn a couple more languages.. her husband mashaAllah knows alotttt and is always learning more, so she went and told him LOL. Anyways, he sent me some books today for french :/ I wanted spanish first but oh well.. she said if I want he'll correct my work and stuff.. I was like noooooo thats okk!!!.. but I thought it was nice.. she said once I finish these he'll give me spanish and then whatever else I want.. so ya.. thats kinda good alhamdulilah.. something to keep me busy with..
I'm the type of person that if I dont have something to keep me busy I'll just waste my time like I've been doing the past couple days. I have to have someone always on my back with things. So inshaAllah I think imma start a schedule for hifdh and then the languages, spend most of my time at khala Aishas :P. She does my hifdh, and 'amu my languages. nah but forreals inshaAllah I need to start studying something to fill up my time.. what, how, and when, I'm still debating...
:I'm tired, so so so so so tired. Last night I got into an argument with my mom, she wouldnt let me stay online at night couse she said thats why I wasn't sleeping, and I said that it helped get me tired :/ lol.. she won, and I went to my room.. The whole night I was up, thinking and stuff.. she came in to wake me up for fajr and goes "YOUR AWAKE!" so, ya didnt really sleep till after fajr.
After fajr I tried to sleep for an hour or so couldnt really so I got up and went online. Stayed online till like 9:30 when my dad got up so I headed upstairs and layed down for a couple hours.. sis came waking me up telling me to get up if I wanna go to the dars, so I got up.. but we didnt go! little brat.
My dad just called, on his way home.. but I dont feel like getting off :(.. khair, maybe I'll post a real update sometime soon.. lol.. the past few have pretty much been about how sleepy and bored I am :P.
I miss Zaineb, alot.
Today has been one of those really slow boring days with nothing to do. I was up online most of the night. I went to my room/bed a little before fajr, and then slept again after fajr untill like 8ish. Since I got up I've done almost nothing..
My dads not home today, he had a meeting in Vancouver, WA and took Amu Abu Yusif (khala Aisha's husband) with him since he had some things he wanted to do in Portland. So I've been pretty much free to do whatever I wanted all day. I have almost no work today since I cooked alot yesterday so there is still food and the house was pretty clean and I finished anything that needed to be done. I've read some and stuff.. but I'm pretty bored. Its amazing how you are always wishing to have time on your hands but when you do you wish you had something to do to keep you busy..
Dad just called me a while ago, they on thier way back :(. lol he was lost in Portland and needed directions! so yea.. that means I have another hour and half or so till he gets back..
so ya, right now am just chillin, talking to some girl from portland, and giving computer help to my sisters friend.. tired though, so im thinking about going to sleep for a while.. hmm we'll see.
Alhamdulilah, so I'm done with Highschool. Feels really good. Its like something you knew you needed to do, and had been working really hard to complete it and finally you did. Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulilah for making it easy on me and facilitating it for me. All thanks is due to Him first and foremost for without Him making it possible no matter how hard I would have worked, it would have been useless. After that I�d have to thank my mom for always being there, helping me, and supporting me from the start. For taking her time in teaching me, and for always believing in me and encouraging me to reach any goal I ever set for myself. And after that, all my love and thanks goes out to a group of my friends, especially 4 of them, each one contributed either directly or indirectly in helping me reach this goal.. jazaahum Allahu khair al jazaa� wa baaraka laahum fe al-dunyah wal aakhirah..aameen.
While addressing my last two exams to the school today it hit me, I�m done. I finally have reached the goal I had worked non stop to reach the past two years. And in completing this goal, I feel like I�ve completed a �stage� of my life. These past couple years have been some of the hardest, yet sweetest years for me. There were times in them where I felt I could not go on, where I felt the world was against me and where I reached a level of depression that I had never felt before. Yet there were times that I would trade anything in the world to relive, some of the sweetest memories I have or of these two years, walhamdulilah.
When I look back at who I was then, and who I am now I�m just like subhanAllah.. Its hard to believe how much I have changed, and inshaAllah I hope this change is for the better. I remember just being this carefree kid that thought nothing was cooler than finally being able to call myself a teenager. A lot has happened in my life since then that has caused a lot of change in me. I�ve learned a lot, and I hope inshaAllah I�ve gained a bit more wisdom.
I�ve learned so much the past couple years. Not just academically, but about life itself. I�ve grown from a naive 13 year old to who I am today. And although I know that I have barely scratched the surface when it comes to all aspects of knowledge I think I�ve learned a lot. I�ve learned the true value of friendship, and what it feels like for that to be broken. I�ve learned that with every hardship there is an ease, and that although you may not see the wisdom behind something that is decreed for you, there is without a doubt a great wisdom behind it. I�ve learned that sometimes its best not to get what you want. I�ve learned that if everyone in this world forsakes you, Allah swt will never forsake you. I�ve learned that even though you don�t understand your parents and they may not understand you, they are always wanting the best for you, so listen to them. I�ve learned that there is good even in mistakes. I�ve learned that you can never please people, and even if you can its not worth it, so the only one you should work to please is Allah swt. I�ve learned that memories are the best treasure you can ever want. I�ve learned that people don�t always live up to your expectations, so sometimes its best not to expect the best, at least then you wont be disappointed. And I�ve learned that I have a lot and I mean A LOT left to learn.
One thing that I had always taken for granted but learned the true value of was friends and memories. I know it may sound clich� but wallahi I do mean it, had it not been for some of the friends that stood by me throughout the past couple years, I really don�t know where I�d be. Starting from not last summer but the one before its been some of the best times that I have ever had with my friends, both online and offline, and some of the best memories for me.
When it comes to offline, man who could forget that summer? All the trips, all the hype for the wedding, all the excitement of finally starting HS, there was never a summer I enjoyed like that one alhamdulilah. How close me and Tassnym got since then, that is priceless as well. All the nights of staying up together online doing homework, setting limits on each other.. the girls dars last summer.. her going to saudia, and how bad that hurt, and then for her to come back, and to be able to share together some more memories.. alhamdulilah..
When it comes to online, I wouldn�t even know where to start. The first few nights in the paltalk room just goofing around. The book LOL. Actually making it, and keeping it updated for a while. The first �fight� between us three (at the time it was UQ, X, me) and how bad it hurt going off that night. Making up the next day.. lol that was the first time I called UmmQaylah.. The drifting of us as a group apart, and the friendship I established with each on their own. Mango juice and CHOTU CHOTU CHOTU� getting close with yasi.. the first time x wouldn�t talk to me for a day :(� The first time I got in trouble.. last summer and how it sucked without ya�ll.. getting blocked by x a couple times.. making up.. talking with yasi on the phone at 4 am lol.. calling someone like a gazillion times.. making up a story about calling algeria.. the night wawa admitted.. the shady bunch pictures� and just every single moment I�ve had with the three of you. If I attempted to list them all, I�d be here all night.
And its not only the moments and memories, its more. It�s the way that speaking to one of you could make me smile even in the worst of circumstances. It�s the way you guys have totally and completely taken over my heart forever. It�s the way I love you and trust you so much, more than friends I grew up with, more than family. It�s the way you can give the best advice and totally understand how I am feeling without me saying a word. Its how that at times, when I felt like I had no one left in this world to turn to, I could turn to one of you.
Sometimes I wish I could continue to relive the good memories, or that all times could be like it. But I�ve come to realize that I already do that. Sometimes I�ll be doing something, and it will remind me of a moment and this feeling over takes me.. pure happiness.. and I cant help but smile. alhamdulilah for memories..
There seems to be so much talk of how this summer is the summer of change, and how after it nothing will be the same, and how we will no longer be as close.. and that is saddening. But I guess it is part of life. Although I do not think we will ever drift away in the sense that our hearts will drift away from each others, I pray that we don�t, I can�t help be see the point that it is true, that things may not be the same. It seems as if each one of us has something uncertain in their life now, and non are truly sure what will happen comes the end of this summer. May Allah swt grant us all what is best for us.. aameen
Its just life.. what is destined for us will happen no matter what, and inshaAllah it is what is best for us. Sometimes its hard to think that one day ya�ll really might not be in my life again, but who knows how and where our paths may cross again. I do know that every one of you will always be special to me and have a special place in my heart, and I know I will never forget you..
As far as me, by completing this stage in my life I seem to have reached a crossroad and I do not know exactly which road I shall take. One of the things my dad was waiting on before making any move to leave the country was me finishing highschool, he figured it would be easier and better that way. There seems to be doors opening for us to move away from this country, and if we do, where I will be and what will I be doing come the end of the summer, only Allah swt knows. And if we do not move, and end up staying, what will I be doing, Allahu �aalam.
I am in a state of confusion when it comes to what I want for my future, well I know what I want but if and when I will obtain it, only Allah swt knows. There are two things that I truly desire, all else I could care less about, they are to further my study of the deen and to inshaAllah raise a family. My parents each have a different view and hope for me, with my moms being closer to mine. Right now I do not know what to do, or exactly what action to take next. Do I apply for colleges here in the states as my parents want? Do I wait to see what happens with regards to moving? Or?
For the time being I think the best thing for me is to just concentrate on my family and on my hifdh. With how busy I have been in my secular studies lately I have really ignored my hifdh, astaghfirAllah. InshaAllah it is my hope to start from the beginning as if I have never memorized before and to through till the end during this summer. My mom has also given me the responsibility of teaching my sister, she says that I am more familiar with the curriculum than her, my English is better than hers, and that I can relate better to my sister than her. So inshaAllah I just want to concentrate on these things, and to study on my own for the time being.. and wait and see what Allah swt has planned for me.
Alhamdulilah �ala kulli haal.. I didn�t mean for this to get so long.. it is late and I�m not sure how much of it will actually be understandable, but I felt a need to write down some of my thoughts.
alhamdulilah!!!!!!!!! I'm done!!!!!!!!
lol I'm to tired to say more than that. I had planned an update for a while that I wanted to post but it will have to wait till some other time. Right now I'm just so happy, and so tired. Alhamdulilah.
I had a pretty good morning, intresting, but good alhamdulilah. Pretty much spent most of the time studying, studying and cleaning. I finished a pretty good amount of schoolwork, inshaAllah I'll be done by the end of the night. Another 100+ pages to read though..
I probably have to babysitt for most of the day, great. My sis wants her friend to come over, and her friend is supposed to be taking care of her little sis and bro since her mom is sick so all of them are coming, and my mom said she dont want any responsibility today, so ya.. I have to take them wherever they wanna go, do whatever they want to do, make them whatever they want etc.
I've been thinking, like way to much.. and I think its ruining my consintration. Why is doing what you think is right so hard? but what if thats not what is right? I dont know. I'm confused. khair inshaAllah, hopefully I'll make up my mind sooner or later.
I went to bed sometime after midnight and couldnt fall asleep as usual. So I'm in bed, its like 1:30am and I hear this huge bang/crash outside. Its really hot so the window is open and the sound was LOUD. About ten seconds after that I hear this other wierd noise. I want to jump up and see whats going on but I get scared that my dad will walk in to see what the noise was and yell at me for being up.
The second noise is repeated like 3 times, so I'm like you know what I dont care I have to see what it is. I get out of bed go to the window and I'm like whaaaaaat.. A little down the street there is one of those bus stop things, like almost a block down. Anyways, some dude whent over the curb and crashed into it :S. That was the first noise, the second noise was him trying to back out.
Since I couldnt sleep and didn't have anything better to do, I figured I'd sit and watch. Turned out to be a pretty intresting show. FOUR police cars came. They searched the guy, I guess he was drunk or something. He kept saying something about his wife being in the hospital? lol the only person you could hear talking was him couse he was yelling so loud.. they arrested him. Towed the car, and tried cleaning up the glass. It was crazyish. My mom was downstairs reading or something so she comes up to see whats going on and that woke up my sis, so for the second half of the show I had company.. only annoying part was she kept asking me over and over what happened before she got up.
ahh yea, I bet it'll make it into the paper LOL. Nothing crazy happens here usually.. its like to small of a town.. anyways
Dad went to Cali this morning, I was asleep so I didnt bother going. Today seems boring.. ahh khair.. I'll work on my last unit inshaAllah.. get that over with! Maybe convince someone to go out and do something instead of studying? Allahu 'aalam. we'll see. My mom already told me that I have to do all the kitchen work today :(. The kitchen is a MESSS and its not even 9 yet. Couse my mom was up getting things ready for my dad at fajr and she left it messy, then sis got up and ate and left it more messy.. alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal.
Umm Qaylah, please come online.
Today was one of those slowish days.. got up late.. not planning on going to sleep soon. Alhamdulilah it was good though. Pretty much wasted the morning either sleeping (till 11) or online (till 3). After that I did what I do when my dads home :P, pick up my book and study.
Went to the dars at around 7, dars was really nice alhamdulilah. soo many people were there, some I hadnt seen in a while.. so we just chilled out, had a good time. And yes I did pay attention! Tassnym wasnt there, neither was dina, mannn these nerds need to quite the school!! summer is for a reason.. ufff all they do is studying.. lol, whenever I complain to them they like "you did the same thing", I'm like ya I did.. but it didnt impact my social life.. I STILL went out with you guys almost every weekend.. I still went to the masjid every friday.. I still even went on tuesdays.. ahh khair..
1 more exam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeaaaaa lol this unit is longgggggg.. I'm like dreading to start it.. but we'll see inshaAllah.. inshaAllah the end of this weekend I'll be done..
Dad is heading down to San Jose tommorrow.. he wants someone to go with him. I dont know.. I mean I love going down to cali.. but this trip is going to be a fast one, and if I go it would just be me and him.. so that means I probably wont get to go see all my moms friends in the bay area, or ALIA!!!! omg I just realized shes down there!!!!! ahhhh now I'm starting to get second thoughts about not going.. hmm.. but still I dont think I'd be able to meet up with her anyway and that would just disapoint me more.. and he aint going down to south cali so I wont get to see khalu either.. I dont know man.. I'm not sure :S
I was talking to khala Ammani about UAE today, seems pretty cool. She said if we move there she'll hook me up with her sisters who are a little older than me, and if we end up going before she gets back from there this summer she will personally take me around. Allahu 'aalam.. I dont think I've updated on that latly have I? Dad emailed amu shaykh Hassan and he said as soon as he replies to him he gonna head over there get job, house, etc and if things are good he'll come take us :S.. At the same time Amu Abu Taariq (AbdulQudoos's grandfather) is helping my dad with getting a job and stuff in saudia.. so Allahu 'aalam.. might not be in the states by the end of the summer...
A friend of mine asked me to give her Arabi lessons.. hmm I dunnu... I suck at teaching lol.. but I said I would.. so now I have to figure out how exactly to do that inshaAllah..
Anyways this post has gotten realllllyyyyyy random.. so I better end it..
random post, but I dunnu something I was thinking about and that I thought was kinda amusing..
yesterday when we were at khala amani's my mom decides to take on the roll of match maker and suggests to this one khala a couple girls in Portland for her sons. I happen have the misfortune of needing to tell my mom something at that moment. So I walk up to her and wait for her to finish talking.. when she does and the khala agree's with her about the girls being good etc etc then she turns to me and goes "I thought you were coming to talk to me about Maryam, wallah if you did I would take her home with me right now" and attempts to give me a hug. At this point I am frozen cant move and like RED.. ahh ya.. why do khala's love to embarress you?
Mother
I would look into your eyes, and I would see your pain.
I would try my best to ease your anguish, yet my efforts would go in vain.
You would scream and cry;
I’d look at you, and all I could do was sigh.
I was frozen, I was frightened, I didn’t know what to do.
The solution was not in my hands to take your anguish away from you.
I would have rather experienced the pain myself, than to watch my beloved mother suffer.
And each moment passing, each cry of pain, was making it all the more tougher.
As I saw your angst increase, I wiped away my tears.
I made myself strong, and hid away my fears.
I’d be there for you, like you were always there for me.
I guess this tested our love, and how deep it can truly be.
Mother, I remember you then, and I look at you now.
I smile with relief, and manage to laugh somehow.
I bow to Allah, for it is he I thank.
For without you dear mother, my life would be blank.
I am so grateful for your health and happy spirits.
Now I treasure every moment spent with you; every minute.
After all that’s happened now, I’d like to say
the words "I love you" in every possible way.
Mother, please forgive me for every wrong I did or said.
Let’s spend as much time possible brightening what lies ahead.
Please, let me know if there’s anything for you I could do.
For I need no one in the world like I need you!
I love you mom.
By: Tassnym *****
I was talking to a sis today and when I told her how old I am she goes "OMG no way!!!! I thought you were at least 20". A few weeks ago I was talking to a diffrent sis about wanting to get married and she was telling me about how she got married at my age and how she thought I'd do good because I was "mature". And ofcourse we can't forget the all to famous email where he said I was "mature for my age" "dealt with it maturly" and whatever else was said in it.. now my question is how can and why do people think I am mature?
I mean come on, thats the LAST THING I am. I just can not seem to understand it when people say this.. and I get these comments all the time. Its more shocking when I get it in real life, couse I mean maybe online its easy to fool people or for them not to know the true you, but in real life you would expect them to. I don't know. I guess I shouldnt be bothered by it, but I am a little.. couse ya'ani I'm not lol.. I find it more comical than annoying though..
'ala kullin, today has been a pretty goodish intrestingish day alhamdulilah. I finished another exam and inshaAllah I hope to finish another one by tonight. so I'll have 3 left yaaaaay alhamdulilah.. It does feel good to almost finish. It'll be my first "summer break" in two years.. so inshaAllah it will be rewarding.
me and yasi have been a bit crazy today. Planning surprise crazy trips that we probably wont end up doing lol.. making private forums.. etc.
*editted*
ahh, anyways I have to go cook dinner :/
yaaaaaaaaay alhamdulilah just finished another exam. So I have 6 more to go inshaAllah. I had wanted to, and probably could have, finish two exams tonight but there was something more important that needed my attention tonight. InshaAllah tommorrow. wa inshaAllah I'll try to keep working untill my dad gets home, in a couple hours.
lol, I think I need to cut down on the junk food.. like alot.. Ever since I started exams I've been eating wayyyy to much junk.. today I had icecream thingy, wa chocolate chip cookies, wa pizza twice (brunch and dinner), ma'mool, capri sun, and some other stuff.. wa now I'm eating cookies again.. ahh alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal.. I don't mind it really.. other than it not being healthy, and my mom nagging me about it.. other than that its good.. moms half encouraging it couse she thinks it might help me gain weight (she constantly thinks im loosing more weight :/) to bad its not working though. :D thats good alhamdulilah.
Detroit won :D
am sleepy, like really sleepy.. and my biology book makes me more sleepy, but I can't sleep now.. must stay up.. Im mad at someone, really mad.. laysh you didnt come online like you promised you would??? I been waiting online for you all day, and even left msn open when I wasnt home, but you only came on for like three minutes today :(... I miss you and have alot I want to tell you.. maaannnn dads home all day tommorrow habeebti :(... I'll be up from fajr though inshaAllah so come on then? please? (btw if its not obvious I'm talking to UmmQ)
anyways I'll go back to studying.. either that or I'll head to bed..
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Alhamdulilah I was in the best mood earlier today. keyword WAS.. lol.. like everything was good, no matter how bad it really was. I just felt really good alhamdulilah, and I got no idea why. I got so much done in such little time, and things were just good. I cleaned the house WITHOUT my mom asking, downstairs and up.. did the bathrooms.. worked on the laundry.. and even studied a bit.. and like the whole time I was happy had this huge smile etc..
I thought nothing could ruine my mood. Even arguing with my sister wasnt. I didn't care what she did to the room, or how she reorganized. ahh but something did change my mood. :(. Alhamdulilah am still in a good mood, I think, but nothing like I was this morning..
Umm Qaylah, waynik?
bleh, back to studying.
uffffff anyone see the game yesterday? lol.. I was listening to it and following the yahoo play by play.. I CANT BELIEVE THEY LOST.. maaaannnn anyways, why do I care? I dont know.. I dont really like either team but I still want detriot to win.. for a few reasons, 1. just so I can go opposite of someone else, 2. I like Rasheed.. And ya, I know better than anyone how crazy he is, but I like him still. His kids are cute btw :D
So yes, thats how I spent my evening yesteday. When the game finished, guess what I did, I did one of my bio exams :O *shocking*. I already have two people that are refusing to speak to me untill I finish, and a few others who are pushing me to finish, and well I realized I'm going to have to do it anyways so why not do it now and be done. InshaAllah, bi'idhnillahi ta'ala I want to be done by the weekend. I know I've said that like ten times now but this time I'm serious inshaAllah. And PLEASE if I do not finish by this weekend, dont talk to me for a week, that will definatly make me finish.
Dads outa town again today.. yeaaaaaah.. or is it not yeahhhh? I'm starting to notice that I get pretty lazy when he aint around. When he is around I have nothing better to do than to study or do housework, when he isnt home I start to slack off couse I'm online.. yes yes online is big fitnah for me.. and I know it.. my whole "two weeks off" didnt exactly work out the way I had planned, but it helped in a few ways alhamdulilah.. even though I didnt totally cut off net time.
Today seems like another one of those long days online, and inshaAllah studying as well.. Might go out later on in the afternoon with da khalas maybe not, depends if nymo is going. Bukra is tuesday so I have dars, dunnu if I'll go or not, and then an appointment later on.. wendsday got nothing planned.. thursday I got babysitting all day at khala Amani's lol.. thats going to be aaahh fun inshaAllah, wa friday there is masjid.. so ya thats how my week looks so far inshaAllah..
ohh Khala Umm Taariq is here. She came friday. Taariq staying for a week, shes staying for a couple months. Its usually fun when she comes couse then there are always alot of 'azayim :D. wa she's bringing me stuff from saudia. so ya am happy alhamdulilah.
lol, Umm Qaylah won the trivia mashaAllah. It was funny when she was answering the questions.. all nervous, and in a rush.. thinking that everyone had already submitted :P.. (L). and my yasmeenaaaa got second.. yaaaaay.. good day for me when two of the people I love the most do well.. alhamdulilah.
I just got done uploading the 122+ pics we took yesterday wich reminded me to update. Alhamdulilah had an AWESOME time yesterday! It was totally unplanned, and at first it was looking like the trip would suck but by the end of the day everyone was extremely happy.. alhamdulilah.
We ended up leaving around 1:50, couse you know how arabs are with times :P.. 'Amu Abu Muhammad and 'Amu Abu Omar had already left couse my dad told them to since he had some things to take care of before we left.. They said to meet them "after the fish place in newport where there is a big handwritten sign".. the whole way we going "WHAT??" couse I've been there a gazillion times and there is no such thing. So ya, after getting there we end up looking for that for like hafl hour untill Mohammad calls my dad and says that they are at Yakina(sp?) bay or something so we head there..
Yakina bay Lighthouse
We stay there for like five minutes and the rain starts to pick up so the 'amus are like "lets head up to lincoln city maybe its better", so its back into the cars and another half hour drive.
The "caravan", Sinky's, Abu Omar's, then us.
When we first got there, it was a bit muggy.. and everyone was pretty down.. what we thought would be a nice sunny day, was well pretty not sunny..
Alhamdulilah the rain stopped after about ten minutes and the 'amus decide to go get food. So it was all the girls (my mom, khala Faykah, Khala Umm Omar, Tassnym, me, my sis), and the boys(Mohammad, Hassan, Omar, Waleed, Ahmad) for about 2 hours while we wait for the 'amus to get back. While we are waiting we decided why not go into the water.. yes its freezing, yes we dont have cloths (in the car, which was locked), and yes our parents are going to kill us, but hey lets do it anyways.
Dina, me, and my sis go in, Tassnym chickens out couse her dads gonna get mad at her if she does..
After about an hour of going in and out of the water, we get bored of it and decide to head back to the khalas. ohhhhhhhhhh mannnn did we get a talking to.. my mom "maryam init majnoonah?? you were sick for three days and look at the weather, wallah if your dad sees you like this you'll regret going in".. dina's mom" DINAAA your dads gonig to kill you.. him and omar.. just wait and you dont even have cloths" :D we didnt care at first really..
After an hour and half of waiting for the 'amus to get back, two things happen.. the sun comes out totally like the weather becomes beautiful mashaAllah.. and we get to impatient..
So ya, like I said we started getting REALLY annoyed with the 'amus.. couse we were soaked and starved lol.. The khalas kept going "mayybee they went to salem to get costco pizza" (couse costco pizza is da best laa shaak).. "or maybeeee they couldnt find any good food so the whent to slaughter" (crazy I know.. ) the guys on the other hand gave them a diffrent type of 70 excuses "maybeeeeeee they are having a sit down seafood dinner without us"..
FINALLY they come with like 6 pizza's we ate like 5 :S.. And then amu's wanted to leave a little before maghrib so they dont drive back in the dark.. but ya was nice alhamdulilah
Rainbow on the way back at maghrib time :P
Anyways for the rest of the pics.. I think msn is better :P
When we are eating breakfast hes finally like "OK when Im done eating I'll call".. he does and they decided to go to the coast after dhuhr.. so ya'ani in like 20 mins.. :D am happy alhamdulilah..
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I had a total disaster in the kitchen today lol.. It was actually really funny.. alhamdulilah I was the only one downstairs. It wasn't one thing that went wrong, it was EVERYTHING. I'm kind of out of it today, alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal. And no I'm not about to describe in detail what happened, couse thats just embarrassing. But lets just say I had a lot of trouble making broth/soup :P.. for those that know how easy that is to make, then that’s enough of an embarrassment.. Alhamdulilah kitchen is clean, and both the soup and rest of dinner is done and edible now.
Since yesterday I’ve been kind of sick.. well the day before yesterday, but yesterday was the worst.. I spent most of the morning in bed, afternoon online, and then evening laying on the floor in the living room. I love how spoiled you get when you’re sick. The whole day yesterday my moms making me things and making sure my sister doesn’t bother me and stuff.. and like even my dad, my mom and sis went out around 6ish yesterday and it was just me and him at home. I was laying down in the living room, he was on the computer. And he keeps going “how you feeling?” “want me to make you something to drink?” “why don’t you go sleep in bed?”.. I was like awwwwwww laa jazaakAllah khair.. Usually I don’t get this spoiled when I’m sick :/.. so I’m not surprised it only lasted one day :P
As far as today goes, I’m about 80% better alhamdulilah :D. Since my mom has dars tonight that meant that I have housework.. and that’s when I ran in to trouble.. couse even though I’m better I’m not totally concentrating on things. But alhamdulilah, its 1 and am done with my work. After salaah mom wants me to help her with her dars.. translating and stuff.
lol, I’m talking to my ex-teacher on msn. Shes tight.. Honestly I usually hate my teachers, but this teacher has really really been awesome in all the classes I’ve taken with her. Shes really open to daawah too.. so ya..
مريم says:
hi
Denny N. says:
Hi.
Denny N. says:
What a surprise!
Denny N. says:
How are you?
مريم says:
I'm pretty good
مريم says:
how about you?
Denny N. says:
Grreat! In a few minutes I'm leaving school and
Denny N. says:
starting summer!
مريم says:
excellent!
مريم says:
I have one more class till my summer starts
مريم says:
last highschool class
Denny N. says:
Wow! When is graduation?
مريم says:
as soon as I'm done with this class
Denny N. says:
well, hurry up then!
مريم says:
I'm trying!!
Denny N. says:
مريم says:
hopefully within a week or so
Denny N. says:
Hope you have a great summer... and then what happens next?
مريم says:
College probably
مريم says:
I want to go into teaching
مريم says:
not sure yet
Denny N. says:
you'd be a great teacher
مريم says:
thanks
مريم says:
it helps when you have the chance to learn from teachers like you
Denny N. says:
oh. thank you.
Denny N. says:
next year i'll be teaching for corvallis directly. online.
Denny N. says:
creative writing and journalism.
مريم says:
cool
مريم says:
I took the journalism class a couple semesters ago
Denny N. says:
well, i should go. please keep in touch.
مريم says:
ok
Denny N. says:
was it good?
مريم says:
it was nice
مريم says:
ya
Denny N. says:
i'd like to know what you end up doing!
مريم says:
I'll make a point of keeping in touch
Denny N. says:
thanks.
مريم says:
np
مريم says:
moms calling, take care
مريم says:
and have a great summer
Anyways, I have to go for salaah.. I’ll update this and the other blogs later inshaAllah.. dads in Portland today again..
Remember how I was ranting about having to go to the coast a couple weeks ago? I took pictures, just havnt gotten around to loading them till yesterday.. so you can see for yourself why I didnt want to go.
lol, I honestly don't know what to post.. I havent updated in a few days and I got nothing to say..
Monday was really nice alhamdulilah, I got up in the morning and had a really really nice surprise.. Umm Sundus came online, and she told me she just had a son.. I was like mashaAllah!!!!!!!! It was a total shock to me couse I was the last one from corvallis to have herd from her and that was more than 8 months ago.. She stole Tassnyms kunyah :P, named him Al-Baraa' mashaAllah..
Other than that I finished the stupid novel I had to read for class, and with that finished my 3rd class.. now I just got bio :(.. Later that day Umm Yusif called and said she was sick so I walked to her place (down the street) with my sis and took yusif to the park.. was nice.. hes adorable mashaAllah.. monday was nice alhamdulilah
Tuesday was boringish.. Didnt feel up to going to the dars so I stayed home.. was online alot but that was somewhat boring as well.. And I only did about one chapter of bio which sucks couse I have alot more to do.. lol, when I first started the ASOC classes I was up in Portland and some of the girls there offered me thier corrected exams for EVERY class, but I was like nah I'll do them myself.. couse ya'ani I've never cheated before, helped people a bunch of times though lol.. now I'm begging for the bio exams couse I dont feel like doing them :S..
so ya, thats it.. today dads not home.. hes up in portland :D. andddddddd Saturday is the first portland picnic, they have it once/twice a month in the summer... Portlands tight. ahh that reminds me.. I need to email sabika, we need to get some people from Seattle to come down on sat.
Al Baraa'
Yusif
alhamdulilah I got my old email account back!! I had pretty much figured out how to get it back a while ago but didnt want to couse I was scared my dad would find out. Yesterday when my other email account got taken over I figured instead of making a new account I could just re-open this one, and alhamdulilah I did.
Im in a really really ticked off mood right now. I keep trying to sign into my msn and it tells me I'm entering the wrong password. I know its the right one, but now I've tried entering it so many times its not letting me try again. The annoying thing is I cant figure out why its not working. I know some other people have the password to it, but I dont think any of them would do something like that.. khair inshaAllah... it looks like I might need to make yet another email account :P.. am not gonna do it now though, later inshaAllah.. still wanna see if these account will end up working sometime..
The past couple days have been kind of slowish, boringish, depressingish, days.. I dont know why.. I'm just not up to doing anything. Yesterday I slept from 9am-2pm and would have stayed asleep had i not needed to get up for dhuhr. This lazyness is also causing me to lag in school work.. and that sucks.. I have about 10 more exams left, so inshaAllah I'll be done by next weekend..
Friday was nice at the masjid. Sooooo many people mashaAllah, and everyone was like together again.. it was nice.. alhamdulilah. It was sad too!! khala safia's family and khala nasreen are leaving on the 15th :(.. What was more sad for me though, was saying goodbye to 'Aliyah. She'd only been here three months, her husband needed to do something at OSU (oregon state uni) for his M.A. and now he finished what he needed and they going back to San Fran. Even though they were only here such a short time they became so active in the community and stuff.. And me and her got really close. On Friday I did nothing but sit with her, and when she was leaving we hugged and both of us like had tears in our eyes and stuff.. :(.. InshaAllah we'll meet again soon couse we go down cali and she's probably going to come up for visits.. unless they decide to go back to india now that her husbands done.. Allahu 'aalam..
so ya.. I miss 'Aliyah, I miss UmmQaylah, I miss yasmeena, I miss al-x, I miss my khalu, I miss khala manal, I miss khala intisar, I miss Umm Sundus!!, I miss a bunch of people :(. . alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal. May Allah swt unite us again, if not in this dunyah then under his shade on the day that there is no shade but his.. aameen.
I'm so tired. I can't believe its Jumuaah already, subhanAllah. Time goes by to fast :/ especially when you got things you need to do. I think I have a pretty packed day today.. between school work, house work, masjid, and some other things... Both Khala Nasreen and Khala Safia are leaving next week :(.. so today after the dars there is like goodbyeish party for them.. Corvallis is getting way to empty, its not like it used to be.. alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal.
There was something I wanted to blog about, right now I'm to tired though, maybe later.. or maybe in a few days.. we'll see.. I got an email from yasmeena today (L), that really made my day alhamdulilah. I miss her.. like alot..
Alhamdulilah I finished another class, so I'm happy about that. I started on the third class yesterday, inshaAllah I hope to finish it tommorrow.. and then I'll only have 9 modules/exams in bio and I'll be done!!!!!!! bi 'idhnillah ta'ala.
anyways am tired.. I think I might go lay down for a bit, get up in an hour or so and start working again..
so much for two weeks off the net.. :(
I had been doing ok, now im back.. I would only go on after fajr when NO ONE is on, just to check email and stuff and sometimes talk to someone.. now I'm back to signing in every time dad leaves..
when I first came on I was away, then went on busy now am on appear offline.. lets see how long I'm going to last till I log off of appear offline lol..
oh ya! my sister uses my account sometimes if I'm logged on, so not all the time I'm on its me :P..
I did 3 exams yesterday, so now my total is up to 10 :D alhamdulilah..
Yesterday was somewhat a hectic day. Was up from fajr so I was DEAD tired most of the day, and for some reason my whole body was like stiff and aching from all the running I did day before.. lol.. I think I probably did over do it though.. kept running sprints and then when I got tired I ran/jogged/walked 12 laps (3 miles)... but alhamdulilah.. annnnnyyyyywaaaaayyyyy back to subject..
yesterday was busy. Moms allergies are finally starting to get the better of her, so she was pretty out of it yesterday. Yesterday was also laundry day and there was house cleaning to do.. alhamdulilah no cookin, had leftovers. Amu Mustafa had surgery a few days ago so my mom decided to go visit khala Umm AbdurRahman, and that took up a good 3 hours or so of the day..
Before heading over there we went to go pick up some groceries for her and stuff. When we get to the store my mom decides she doesnt feel like going in so I have to go get the things for her. I get the stuff, get in line, and there is this lady infront of me that was buying alottt and then she holds up the line to get a $.49 coupon to ring up. Everyone was like omg you buying $200 worth of grocery and holding up the line for 50 cents? lol.. alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal.
Alhamdulilah was nice at khala's. AbudurRahman is pretty sick habeebi :(. He stopped eating because he cant keep anything down. Now all he has is juice and occasionally some food :(. habeebi he's always been small in size but now he's just so tiny. May Allah swt cure him.. aameen.
I love that kid.. it was fun playing with him and stuff.. was only the second time to see him since we moved back. He started crying when we had to leave :(. And that was after an hour of diplomacy and "five more minutes". He added to the already huge list of kunyahs he has for me.. so now its, Umm Hudhaifa, Umm Yummy Yummy, Umm 'Asuyah (stick), Umm 'Awf, and most recently LOL Umm Sayf :S.. I was like pick a diffrent one habeebi..
ahh I've already wasted an hour on the net, needa get back to work inshaAllah..
I havnt updated in a few days, lol usually that is normal but latly I had been updating more than once a day so I guess it seems un normal. I havn't been up to much really. Trying to stay away from the net and keeping myself busy with school work. I've also been going out alot more the past couple days. Shocking eh? :P. Not that I want to, I just get forced into it.
So lets see, I guess I should start with sunday. Saturday was the day they made me go to the coast. It was ok alhamdulilah, but laa shaak I would have rather stayed home. For starters it was FREEZING and towards the end of our time there it started raining. After eating I took out my books and made a "tent" over me with a blanket while sitting on a picnic bench so my books dont get wet since it had started to drizzle. Khala Aisha, mom, and sis decide to go walking on the beach, I was like GO AHEAD I aint going. Within minutes of them going it started hailing. My dad comes and starts calling my sister and I was like "baba shes not here" he was like "THEY WENT DOWN?" and I was like "ya". Ended up leaving soon after.
Monday I spent at home doing schoolwork all day. Later on in the evening my sis wants me to go take a walk with her. I was like no man I have work.. she starts begging and pleading and saying how I dont do anything with her, or for her and I dont love her. lol.. even my parents told her to stop the drama. But it worked!!!! she made me feel so guilty that I went with her.
Miami lost.
Tuesday was the more hectic day I guess. Again, up from fajr studying.. but its just so boring when no one is up and no one is online.. alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal. Anyway, whent to the dars at 12ish which was nice alhamdulilah. And then we went to khala Aisha's for dinner from like 4:30 - 7ish, and after that we went to Highland(middle school, track) with some of the khalas till almost maghrib. That was pretty cool I guess. Would have been nicer if Tassnym or some of the girls were there, but alhamduilah. It was fun though.. me and Khala Ghada raced, and me and my sister.. and then I ran sprints for the fun of it.. and just chilled out with khala Ghada. The only downside was I missed alot of study time I needed.. and when I came home I was so tired, the only thing on my mind was take a shower and sleep.. was to early though, had to wait till 'isha.
So ya, thats it.. nothing exciting. Finished 8 exams, 1 class, so far alhamdulilah. Have 3 more classes to finish, 18 exams in total. InshaAllah another week and I'll be done.
oh yaa!!! I'm maybe getting a cell phone :P. This is kinda how the convo between me and mama went the other day
Me: mama do you love me?
mama: yea..
me: amnt I being good?
mama: aha
me: I passed all my online classes inshaAllah
mama: aha
me: and I'm about done with the rest my classes
mama: what do u want?
me: cell
mama: didnt you hear me talk to baba about getting a second phone earlier?
me: nooooooo I dont want that
mama: *laughs* ofcourse you want a phone that he cant track
me: ya
mama: we'll see inshaAllah.
I took that as a yes :D. I figured one of two things, either she gonna have khalu get me a phone and that is a big possability especially when I finish HS, or I could get prepaid phone. Right now I'm looking into second option couse its faster. I already have a verizon phone and verizon prepaid aint bad.. but verizon regular DAMM its expensive, they took away all the cheap plans. T-Mobile got some ok plans.. cingular sucks.. havnt checked sprint. (btw im talking about regular not prepaid plans). The best prepaid are trakphone... but ya, Imma talk to her about it again today inshaAllah..
one more thing! I have this new tracker on the blog, so I see everyone that comes on it and if they are "Reffered" what site reffered them.. its really intresting to see the searchs that turn up my blog..
go to altavista and type in "track mustafa ya mustafa"
go to yahoo and type in "yasir qhadhi downloads mp3" "old pictures of masjid al-nabawi medina" or "whats make couse couse" and my blog is on the first page of the search.. 'ajeeb. This is why I took down my other blogs..
man, great. I have to go to the coast today :(. Its like 5o degrees and rainy but does that change my parents mind? no. man.. ufff. I''m like really ticked off lol.. but alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal. I have begged and pleaded and just about everything else.. but does that make a diffrence either? no. I already told my mom I'm not getting out of the car lol.. I said I'm taking my school books and studying the whole time... :(. whyyyyyyyy from all days do they have to pick today. lol I guess one of the reasons im grumpy about it is cosue no one I want to go is going :P. but ya, khair inshaAllah.
yes yes I know I should or could email, but I'm not for a few reasons.
1.She never seems to get my emails
2.She checks the blog more than her emails :P
3.I'm already here and can't be bothered to open yahoo to email..
anyways.. its like 6:40am my time, 9:40 yours.. I was planning on staying up, hoping you'd come online.. but I'm so not in the mood to right now. Imma go to sleep.. inshaAllah I'll be up by 9 (12) but probably cant come back online till 10 (1) because my dad wont be home then. Probably wont be on anytime after he comes back either.. unless he goes to my brothers house to watch the game.. As far as tommorrow goes, I dont know.. I might be out of town :( :( if not I think the only time I'll be on is after fajr and maybe 'isha time.. Wallahu 'aalam
khair, I think there are a few things we need to talk about lol...
I'm really really really annoyed right now.. its amazing how one small thing can totally change your mood. Why do people like to creat fitnah between others? and why am I so easy to convince of something. subhanAllahil 'adheem. This issue has been bugging me for so long, sometimes I wonder why don't I just confront the person and khalaas. The thing is I'm still not fully convinced that they've done anything. When I'm in a normal calm mood it just seems like soo' dhun on my part... And I don't feel like risking a friendship over thoughts.. I dont know.. its just that every time I push the thoughts out of my mind and forget about it, something like what just happened(read email from someone) happens and I get them again.. : (.
May Allah swt show me the truth in this matter, and forgive me for any ill thoughts I may have for this person if indeed they have done nothing.. aameen.
am really sleepy.. its like 6am.. why the hell am I up? I dunnu. Actually I do know lol, its couse im a net addict.. I know that dads probably going to be home most of the weekend, and that I might be out of town tommorrow so I stay up even though I'm dead tired to come online! crazy and sad but ahh what can I do.
Things are aight I guess alhamdulilah. Not much new, not much to blog about. Now that I'm done with the online exams I have 26 more exams to finish highschool, and I honestly can't wait to be done. InshaAllah I'm hoping to get at least 2 exams in each day that way I'll be done in about two weeks, bi'idhnillah.
I havn't totally changed my mind about leaving the net for a while, but Im sorta putting it on hold for a few days. we'll see..
LOL
my blogs on blogshares.. its up for trade and sale.. lol
link
I practicly spent the whole day sleeping lol.. alhamdulilah was nice I guess. I really should have used the time in reviewing for exam, but I just couldnt stay awake.
I'm a little sick I guess. Not to much.. but couse of asthma it feels worse.. ya'ani alhamdulilah since khala Aisha gave me that 'asal mix thing I havnt been needing to take inhaler except like once a week.. but because I'm sickish the asthma is worse so I had to take it, and it got maadd side effects.. so I think thats why I was all out of it today.. that and fever.. but alhamdulilah am better now..
So tommorow is my last exam.. I dunnu about keeping that no internet for two week deal.. lol.. the more I think about it the more impossible it seems, and I come up with more excuses for not doing it. But inshaAllah I'll try.. maybe not totally stop, but you know, cut down alot. Allahu 'aalam. Point is I want to be done with school by the 15th.. dont care what I have to do to finish...
Ibn al-Qayyim said in "Ighaathatul-Luhfaan" , whilst commenting upon the following hadeeth:
"Trials and tribulations will be presented to hearts, as a reed mat is interwoven stick by stick. Any heart which absorbs these trials will have a black mark put in it. However, any heart that rejects them will have a white mark put in it. The result is that hearts will be of two kinds: one white like a white stone, which will not be harmed by trials as long as the heavens and earth endure; and the other dark and rusty, like an over-turned vessel; not able to recognise the good, nor reject evil, but rather being absorbed with its desires." (Related by Muslim (no.144), from Hudhaifah radiallaahu 'anhu. )
"The fitan (trials) which are presented to the hearts - and which are the cause of its weakness - are: (i) the trials relating to shahwah (false desire) and (ii) the trials relating to shubhah (doubt) ... so the first causes intentions and desires to be corrupted, whilst the second causes knowledge and beliefs to be corrupted".
Speaking about such trials, he - rahimahullaah - said:
"Hearts - when exposed to such fitan (trials) - are of two types:
[The first type]: a heart, which, when exposed to such trials, absorbs it like a sponge that soaks-up water, leaving in it a black stain. Such a heart continues to soak-up the various trials that are presented to it, until it becomes dark and corrupted - which is what is meant by "an over-turned vessel." So when this occurs, two dangerous and deadly diseases take hold of it and plunge it into destruction:
Firstly: confusing good with evil, so it neither recognises the good, nor rejects the evil. This disease may take hold of it to such an extent that it believes good to be evil; and evil to be good, Sunnah to be bid'ah (innovation); and innovations to be the Sunnah. and the truth to be falsehood: and falsehood the truth.
Secondly: judging by its whims and desires, over and against what Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam came with being enslaved by its whims and desires and being led by them also.
[The second type]: a white heart in which the light of eemaan is bright and its radiance is illuminating. So when trials are presented to such a heart, it rejects and turns away from them. This further increases its light and illumination and its strength."
It's 7:15am, and I already feel like today's taking forever. It just feels like one of those days that drag on forever, and you almost wish that they would end. I'm cold, and tired, and bored, and alone :(. I had to take an exam today after fajr, figured it would take me a while but alhamdulilah it was really easy and I finished before 6. Now I don't really know what to do. I've read just about all forums I give about checking, answered emails, gone through some blogs, and am updating now. I don't exactly want to go back to bed, even though I probably should. ahh khair inshaAllah.
I've been thinking way to much lately :/. Just about everything.. my whole life.. trying to re-evaluate it and set priorities straight, couse I think they havent been straight for a while. Allahu 'aalam, there is just to much unclear in my life now, and its adding to my already great confusion lol.. For someone that thinks as much as me I sure don't seem to make sense of alot of things :S.
Right now I guess I just want to finish school. I have one more exam online tommorrow and then I'm gonna work non stop on secular studies. Schools are out here on the 15th and it's my hope to inshaAllah be done by then.. and after that, once I'm done with this Allahu 'aalam what I wanna do.
Recently I've been looking into taking the SAT's, talking to school counsler about it and stuff.. and looking into chances of going to uni and which uni etc. Now why is someone who hates school as much as me doing this? Again, this is something I can not understand. I've never wanted to go on to uni, even when my parents would say they wanted me to.. now, Allahu 'aalam. My parents don't give really, my moms content if I continue my online classes, dad would prefer I did go but he can't force me.. One thing I DONT understand though, is why homeschool me from day one (except half of 1st grade and half of 2nd grade) and then send me to uni? lol.. dont make sense to me. but ya.. I think I just want something to keep me super busy so I'm looking at it as something that may benifit me and would fulfill that purpose.
The more I think about it though, thats not what I really want.. its like a fall back plan.. well one of my many fall back plans. Another thing/change that may happen is to move outa this country. My parents talk about it daily almost, and for the first time my dad is taking steps towards it. For me its like bittersweet. I don't want to leave but I don't want to stay. But for the first time I'm not against it at all. I dunnu.. I dont care anymore. The places seem like either UAE, Saudi, and if non else works they may consider Egypt.
In a way I'm glad that this might happen. couse ya'ani I feel like I need a change. And no matter which of these places we end up in inshaAllah, it would inshaAllah be easier for me to do what I really want. To further my education in Islam. Wallah, the more I think about it the more I realize thats all I want.. and in any of those places inshaAllah you could find a place to learn more.. and if we end up in Saudi, inshaAllah I could persue something I've always wanted, to attend UmmulQura.
I've changed my mind about marriage again lol.. I still don't wanna but when I told yasi I never wanna get married she told me something that changed my mind "meyeh, no you will get married inshaAllah. For the sake of Allah. Even if your husband dont treat you right and dont fulfill your rights and you stay patient then inshaAllah it will be a means for you to get to jannah".. so ya.. khair..
anyways I think I'll go back to thinking in silence, since I aint about to post the rest of my thoughts :P..
oh ya!! I MISS ZAINEB :(.. maaaaannnnn another month!! I miss her I miss her I miss her!!! wa I need her :(.. wheres a girl when you need her eh? halfway accross the world.. ahh great.. InshaAllah she's having a great time, and inshaAllah she come home soon :(.
UmmQaylah, I love you couse you tell me what you think straight up.. even if it may sound mean :P.
Yesterday while we were talking, she pretty much tells me I needa get offline and get a real life.. and ya'know I agree with her.. anyways here's kinda how the convo whent.
Her: You need to get out more do stuff
Me: I dont like going out.
Her: Its not good for you to just stay home all the time sulking
Me: I know.. but I dont like going out lol
Her: same here.. but still
Me: Allahu 'aalam
Her: I dont mean go out to stores and stuff, but like to friends
Me: am a loner
Me: and even if I wasnt parents are strict
Her: lol.. ya me too
Me: khair inshaAllah, I'll try
Her: InshaAllah.
I dunnu.. I dont really like going out.. especially if its for no reason.. I really would rather go online or read or something. And no I'm not anti social, but Allahu 'aalam. I don't mind going to the masjid, or to a friends house or something.. I'm cool with that.. but I dunnu I just prefer the house :S. And latly it kinda sucks here. Nothing special going on at the masjid, just dars friday and tuesday... everyones busy with finals and u know.. its boring.. ahhh Portlands tight.. so is Seattle :(.
