.:Thursday, November 18, 2004:.
Ummul Baraa’, aka Tassnym.
Since yesterday I haven’t stopped thinking about her. While cooking with my mom, I broke a promise to her mom lol. I had promised her that I wouldn’t make or eat biryani(or Pakistani/Indian food in general) until she came back.. long story but whatever. Even on the phone she would remind me of the promise, and I broke it yesterday. And later me and mama were in my room, me on the bed sleeping and she reading Quran, and she reads the ayah “wa mijazuhum min Tassnym” and I dunnu it made me miss her so much.. ya Allah..
Then this morning, I was going through files (yes, that’s all I do when I’m down.) and I saw me and nymo’s quote file.. there’s this one quote in it, it’s probably one of my favorites about friendship or whatever, “A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else”. And wallahi that’s Tassnym. It doesn’t matter what was wrong or what was going on, I couldn’t hide it from her. Even if I didn’t tell her what it was, she would know that there was something.
I never used to tell her a lot, I would hide a lot from her, not for anything but because she wouldn’t understand certain things since she never experienced them, and she had her own things to worry about. But she could make me feel better no matter what. She always had this cheerfulness about her, and could change my mood so easily.
I don’t think there is a memory I have, in like my day to day life, in the past few years that doesn’t have something to do with her. She was always there, always putting me in line you know? She cared about all those small things that are considered stupid by everyone, but to her it was important. She always checked up on me, making sure I finished my hw and hifdh. Always paid a lot of attention to that, she would boycott me if I didn’t finish, especially the hifdh. She has a hand in why I was able to do what I did the past year, both in deen and in academics. Shes the one that pushed me to finish fast, more than my mom even, told me if I could then to go for it and she help me plan out my classes and all, so that now I’m on pace to finish inshaAllah if I can pass my classes.
We had so much in common, and so many differences. We agreed a lot, and we argued A LOT, but our differences never went down to our sisterhood. We could be in a huge argument but still get along. Only once did we get into a fight big enough for us to stop talking, and even then we would talk sometimes. I remember she was so mad she wouldn’t talk me for close to a month, but when we would be infront of people she would. Couse so many people tried to break up our friendship, and she didn’t want to give them the pleasure of seeing us mad at each other.
Shes the only person that’s ever seen my cry (other than mama). I remember our walks, just talking and enjoying ourselves. Talking about the future, what we expected to happen, and what could happen, and the surprises along the way. We used talk about her leaving a lot, we both knew it would be hard and I dunnu I think its harder, at least for me, than we expected. Shes like the type of friend that I don’t think I’ll have again. We shared our lives with each other, we lived them together.
We would spend almost every minute that we were at home together online, we’d do everything together. We’d plan things for the masjid, do homework, play jokes on people, ya Allah. lol I have these files, recordings, of both of us. Most are just like nasheeds and quran and stuff, but some of them are really amusing. We would argue in that way, like she would send me a recording of her argument and id send one back and so on. It was these small things that made a difference.
I’ve been like way to emotional since she left. I miss her so much right now :(. I haven’t talked to her in way to long, and even when I do talk to her its not the same couse its not like it used to be, it cant be. But at the same time I’m happy for her, I know shes wanted to go see her family and spend like eid and stuff with them for a long time, but I guess it’s a bittersweet happiness..
Ahhh, the signings I posted up before, its been almost 6 months now since we wrote these. I never did get to sign the actual scrapbook lol.. she left to fast.
Me:
You’re the type of friend that’s always there no matter what. Your there in good times and in bad. Your that one special friend that no matter what you feel connected to. You got one of the nicest personalities, always thoughtful always giving. You’ve been there thru all my “times”. Life is but a collection of memories and I have to say that a lot of mine include you, so that would mean a lot of my life includes you. Just because you might be far doesn’t mean you wont be close at heart. And I know for a fact I’m gonna look back at these days, and they gonna be some of the best memories I have. Your like a sister to me, I feel I could tell you anything and know it would be safe. I know im gonna miss you but inshaAllah one day we gonna meet up, at your wedding *cough* or mine :P anyway take care, keep in touch, and remember memories don’t live like people do.. wassalamu ‘alaikum..
Her:
maryam, you have been an awesome friend all thorughout. Weve been through our ups and downs, but i think weve learned alot from eachother. All those hours of chatting, and then having nothing to tlak about when we actually see eachother...ahh..anyway, no words can express our friendship, so i dunno what to say. People have come and gone, but amazingly weve stuck together, and i think weve inspired others to really appreciate their friends. Man this year was especially fun with you, with all the classes and stuff..it was great and all the pump for the parties nothin like it...you take care in life...be sure to invite me to your ewedding, and let me know if sofy comes into your life aight keep in touch! Much luv! salam
chotu-meyeh
@ 11/18/2004 10:59:00 AM
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