I haven’t gotten around to updating in a while, and I really couldn’t be bothered to and wouldn’t have if it wasn’t that a few people asked me to. I'm not sure why I haven’t been wanting to update lately, maybe it's because I can't really pour my heart out on this blog so there is no real reason to post? Maybe its couse I know that there is at least one creep reading it and Allahu 'aalam how many more? Or maybe it's simply couse I've been so burned out lately and haven’t had the time? Or maybe it's a combination of all that and more.
I've been thinking about making my blog a private one for a long time now. After mr.Rabbi decided to post a couple comments it made me want to even more. But after adding UmmQaylah as a member of the blog, I noticed it would take a little to much work to make it into a private one, so I scratched the idea. I am still on the look out for an easier way to do it than adding everyone as that I wouldn’t mind reading the blog as a member, if ya know of one let me know couse I'm really not enjoying the idea of anyone reading what I write.
Then again do I really write anything personal enough on here that I wouldn’t want people to read? I'm not sure.. but I know that I cant write what I wish I could, couse I don’t want anyone, let alone strangers, reading that.. So what really is the purpose of my blog if I can't let out how I'm really feeling or what I really want to say on it? Again I don’t know. The only reason I have kept this going for the past six months or so ( *shocked* I cant believe its been that long) is because I'm asked to keep it updated, where it not for the ones that ask me to update or actually show interest in it I think I would have stopped long ago. That’s not to say that I don’t gain something out of blogging, I do.. I just can't figure out what. Even though I can't let out the deeper things, maybe the fact that I can let out other things help? Or maybe just writing down different feelings and thoughts helps? Allahu 'aalam…
The past few weeks haven’t been the best for me. I'm in really confusing time of my life, where I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Just trying to live day by day and trying not to worry about things.. trying to stay happy, and not get depressed. Make duaa for me please, I need it. With everything that’s been going on, I'm starting to feel drained. Its exhausting me both physically and emotionally, my days are so full and I'm making them even more busy for myself lol. Alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal.
I get almost no sleep, even though I try and go to bed early. Most of the night I'm awake, and when I do sleep its not deep sleep, the slightest thing will wake me up. I'm usually up from fajr everyday, and when I do go back to bed I try to stay awake couse I know if I fall asleep I'll sleep till noon lol. So ya, when I get I gotta clean kitchen after baba (couse he usually makes himself something before leaving to work), see if my sis/mom need anything then I'll usually come online for a bit if nothings going on I'll start on the house work. So I do that along with my school work till around 12:30 couse I gotta go get baba lunch ready.. and then same thing throughout the afternoon, then its dinner and then cleaning after dinner and shai etc.. and then I either sleep or stay up to call yasmeena. I'm also trying extra extra extra hard to be nice to my sister, like super nice which isn’t easy lol.. but alhamdulilah..
InshaAllah me and UmmQaylah are going to start up a few of the things we had planned on before next week, if she can fix her yahoo : P. so inshaAllah that’s gonna be nice. I got Umm Abdur-Rahman to agree to sign up for classes with me, and inshaAllah UmmAbdulQudoos, andddd my moms like hey why not me too so I was like aight that'll be nice inshaAllah lol.. My mom told me not to take the 'ajroomiyyah class now couse its going to take a lot of concentration from me and since things aren’t really stable now she told me to postpone it and I said ok..
I got my registration packet for school the other day, which kinda sucks. I have to finish up this class asap lol, mamas starting to get on my case couse of it.. ahha khair inshaAllah.. I have to contact the
Anyways am busy playin wheel of fortune now :P I'll update again later.. btw ya UmmQaylah we needs to talk..
Rabbi Isaac Goldstein
: 2/10/2005 3:37 PMAs for brining about peace to the world, I don’t think that’s something you can accomplish, unless you can stop all the tyrants from their tyranny.
Hillsboro, hmm no can do really.. I don’t even live close to it, and if I did I wouldn’t anyway.
