I've had a bad day, alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal. you know the kind of day that starts off bad and is bad throughout? yea.. thats how its been.

I got up this morning at like 7 and came downstairs to find the computer off, thats my dads way of saying "no one use the computer". I'm not supposed to have the password to it, but I do. So I came on anyways. I heard him get up an hour and some later so I turned it back off and went to bed. I waited for him to leave before getting up again couse like I said he's not in the best of moods lately... when I did get up again I was greeted with the news about Shaykh Ali al-timimi.. so that ruined my morning.

Since then I've just been wasting time.. doing nothing in particular.. talking some.. reading some.. thinking alot.

I hate when you put things in your past, forget about them and move on, only to be reminded of them later on. SubhanAllah I can barely cope with the emotions and feelings I'm having now, I dont need to be reminded of other things, and have them brought back... not to mention the confusion it causes, couse I really dont know what I want anymore.. things suck.. Yasmeena says to ignore it and not get involved.. others tell me to go for it.. uff

I got pranked twice in a row today.. that ticked me offf.. couse I hate getting hung up on.. and my luck I was the one that answered both times. The first time it was blocked number and the second time there was a number.. The person I thought it was swore by Allah it wasnt them.. so now im just like that is 'ajeeb.

My dads supposedly at work.. who knows where he is actually.. I really dont care right now, as long as he aint home.. I dont think I can handle getting yelled at again today.. I'm in such a down mood subhanAllah. I think I'll just go sleep till tommorrow, that is seriously the kind of mood I am in. I dont want to talk to anyone at all.. I dont want to put up with anything more.. I hungry but my mom is in the kitchen, so I dont feel like going there couse I dont feel like being around anyone. :(

Im back into confused state.. I thought I was over that, but now its back. I thought I had cleared my mind about everything and had gotten to an understanding with myself that everything that happens is by the will of Allah swt and there is no point worrying about it. Even before this situation today came up I've been feeling confused and stuff.. I wrote out a long post this morning for another blog but didn't feel like posting it, since I'm not so sure its true. what came up later in the day added another dimension to how I've been feeling..

Why do girls have to be so damm emotional? lol subhanAllah all this happening at the time when I'm supposed to be most emotional.. maybe thats why I'm making things out to be bigger than they really are..

ahh khair inshaAllah... alls well that ends well.. watch by tommorrow I'll be in one of my super good moods..