.:Saturday, July 30, 2005:.
last try..
Im reallyyy annoyed right now.. I updated the blog a
while ago, but by mistake posted twice.. so I went to
blogger.com to fix it and instead of deleting the
extra one it deletes both and the update I put up the
other day... So I'm like aight I'll update again.. I
start to but Safari (mac browser) quits
"unexpectidly".. couse of some stupid error..so now I
really dont feel like updating again, especially since
the connection is really bad now..
Alhamdulilah things are alright.. dunnu when the
regular net will be in, inshaAlllah soon..
Here is an email I sent Tassnym a little bit ago, its
pretty much what I've been saying on here for the past
while.. but ya.. its instead of an update, couse I
cant be bothered to write one now... I wanna go to the
aqeeqah :(
Assalaamu 'alaikum,
wow its been forever since I emailed you.. I guess I'm
in the need of talking to someone and letting some
things out.. in a way organizing some of my thoughts,
and asking for some advice maybe.. and you're one of
the first I think of when I get into these moods..
Remember when we would email each other like ten times
a day? That was the pre-msn era, remember how we would
sit online emailing back and forth for like an hour
:P.. Remember SSSS(send something soon salaam).. ahh
the good old days...
Have you noticed how much of our talk now adays are
about the past? "remmeber this, remember that".. its
almost all we talk about.. and I think that is my
problem.. I'm stuck in the past a little to much..
Now that I'm done with HS, I'm like at a crossroad,
confused, lost, and not sure what path to take..
wishing I could go back.. Its not that I'm not happy
I'm done, I am, It was something I needed to do, and I
worked hard and finished it alhamdulilah but its like
what now..
The past couple years have been great.. I mean there
is no comparison between us at the end of 8th grade
and now with me done with HS and you just about done..
We've grown alot, matured alot, learned alot, and
changed alot.. there were alot of hard times, but I'd
have to say, at least for myself and I know you would
agree, they were some of the best times..
Now everything just seems like its changing.. nothing
is how it used to be.. everyone is going on their own
seperate path of life.. its just not like how it used
to be.. yeah change is part of life and we've all been
through alot of changes throughout the days but this
time it just seems diffrent..
Sometimes you think you have everything planned out
and everything seems perfect but then you realize that
your qaadar is something else.. I had alot of hope put
into the thing I talked to you about before, and now
to be honest I just dont see that happening... its at
times like that when you realize you really dont know
what is best, and even though you planned on one thing
what is destined for you could be something totally
diffrent.. Alhamdulilhah 'ala kulli haal..
Right now I guess its a time i need to make some
choices in life, see what is planned next for me...its
time for me to difrinciate between my dreams and
reality, as it seems I've been living in my hopes and
dreams for most of the summer.. To be honest I'm not
really sure what I want.. there are so many uncertain
things, things I havent talked about.. and then there
are the more obvious things... such as deciding to go
on to uni, apply to UAQ, wait till we possibly move
overseas and so on..
I'm not really sure of my reason for emailing you
this.. I guess I just needed to vent to someone, and
maybe to get ur feedback on some things? Allahu
'aalam.. You've probably been my closest friend out of
the girls.. one of the few people I trust with my
thoughts and feelings.... so as a friend, sister, and
adviser,,, one that pretty much knows me inside out as
a person.. and knows alot about my dreams and wishes,
what road do you think would be the best for me to
take at this time.. and it doesnt have to be something
I mentioned, just in general knowing me, what do you
think would benifit me the most at this time?
Anyways, take care inshaAllah.. Have fun at the
Aqeeqah, and say salaams to everyone for me.. yea, I'm
not going :(.
was salaamu 'alaikum wa rahamatullah
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@ 7/30/2005 04:54:00 PM
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