.:Wednesday, August 17, 2005:.

not going..

QaadarAllahu ma sha'a fa'al...

My uncle called today and told my mom he found a good
deal on tickets and that he needed to know if we were
going so he could make reservations.. My mom, knowing
my answer, told him to make a reservation for himself
and explained to him what happened. After she hung up
my sister told me "its ok you go", but nah man.. I'm
not.. khalaas.. I made istikhaarah, my mom made
istikhaarah, and if its not meant then inshaAllah
something else is planned for me.

I told stucko :(. I think she was as disapointed as
me. We had planned to do so much together,
alhamdulilah 'ala kulli haal.. one thing she did tell
me was "inshaAllah something better is planned for
you".. and inshaAllah I hope so. Its just so hard to
be on a high so many times, and then for the thing not
to go through :(. It seemed so perfect, but
alhamdulilah.. it wasnt meant.

I'm disapointed, frustred, a bit sad, and somewhat
angry, but alhamdulilah.. life goes on.. Now I just
need to work harder on myself.. consintrate more on
the important things.. and stop putting it off untill
"things are better".

So yes, ya Umm Qaylah, I'm not leaving you :P. Now if
only you would work on that application I've been
pushing you to finish we might be able to head out of
here together.....

anyways.. Imma get offline.. I've been on long enough.

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chotu-meyeh @ 8/17/2005 04:20:00 PM #|

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O Allah let me live in this dunya only as long as it is good for my aakhirah.. aameen

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