.:Wednesday, August 24, 2005:.
yeaaa
I'm in a good mood man. Really hyper and hyped up..
dunnu how I'm going to fall asleep. I just spent the
past hour or so talking to Manar and I'm exciteddd. I
sort of got carried away and forgot about other
conversations.. Sorry Hina lol.. you know how my msn
shows me as offline when I'm really not? thats how it
was.. I didnt notice you had signed out till later..
ahhh yeaaa. Things are working out good with project
and all. I'm invited over for a party in Portland
tommorrow :P. The whole gangs gonna be there. It'd be
so nice to go, but ofcourse I had to appologise and
say "next time inshaAllah".
Today was pretty good... I got to see Umm Yusifff for
the first time since she moved to Portland. The little
kid forgot me man! I kept going "Yusif fayn Maryam?"
and he'd be like "huh?". Finally he remembered. I
think he was just a bit overwhelmed at first couse of
all of the people and stuff.
Its really dark outside.. there is usually alot of
light, from the moon, street lights, and such.. but
today it just seems dark.. I can see the hospital
lights clearly.. a helicopter landed and took off a
little while ago.. probably heading to Portland or
Seattle... I think I spend to much time at this window
:P. I've memorised everything outside of it.. last
night I didnt even bother updating, I just sat and
thought... the moon was sorta full and it was
beautiful..
you know, alot of times we look at what we arent
getting from a relationship, but we almost never look
at what we arent giving. By relationship I simply mean
friendships.. its easy to see what you arent getting
that you would like to have, but its so hard to look
at what the other might want that you arent giving.
Alot of times when I looked at a certain friendhip and
said "man this person isnt being honest with me.."
"this person isnt being open with me" "this person is
hiding things from me" "this person isnt giving me
enough time" or whatever else.. ther was always
something I was lacking in.. maybe not the same thing
they were lacking in, but there was something.
A friendship is a two way relationship, you cant just
take without giving.. This is one thing I need to
work on. Stop accusing others of not giving their full
dedication to something I amn't giving my full
dedication to. Another thing I need to work on is
being upfront with them. If something is bothering me
about how they are acting or whatever, just tell
them.. instead of going on like there is nothing..
If the friendship is solid then that wont make a
diffrence.. a friendship has to be based on trust,
honest, and love, among other things.. if you arent
able to trust your friend, then maybe just maybe there
is something wrong in that friendship.. if you arent
able to be honest with them, or love good for them,
then there is definatly something wrong.. and you
should probably look at what you are doing wrong in
the relationship before accusing them of doing wrong.
yes yes, that was my daily rant/lecture.. advise to
mysefl as usual. Sometimes when I write it out and
read it later on it sticks better than if I was to
just tell it to myself.. you tend to not listen to
yourself when it advises you good :P.
now I is off to bed.. I'll try getting up later to see
if meena comes on..but for now I better get to bed
before my mom ends up taking away the computer :P.
Although I have gotten much better.. I dont come
online half as much as I used to and I sorta sleep at
night.. so Alhamdulilah
____________________________________________________
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chotu-meyeh
@ 8/24/2005 01:04:00 AM
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