.:Friday, September 02, 2005:.
emotional v. physical..
I have to get up and start cooking at 4 so I'll be
done by the time we go to masjid! I dont want to!!!!
Ahh khair, moms busy...
I've had a pretty good day so far. At around 9:30 or
so I was laying in bed, not totally asleep but half
asleep.. my sister goes "Maryam I know I shouldn't be
on your Yahoo, BUT yasi is on." I was like "GET UP!!!"
I dont think I've gotten out of bed this fast in a
while... I wasn't planning on getting up early either, I
was/am in one of those "What's the point of getting
up?" moods.
I spoke with yasi for a couple hours. From around
10-12:30. As usually the conversation was an
emotional rollercoaster. It went from happyyyy, to
saddd, to depressing, to happy, to normal, to worried,
to just about every other emotion there is... it sort
of ended on a sad note for us both, but inshaAllah
things will get better for us all.
I had a discussion with UmmQaylah a few days ago, and
then had the same discussion with muji57 today,
about what is harder: physical or emotional pain. All
three of us seem to be of the opinion that emotional
is harder. But I think it depends, there can be times
when physical is worse and times when emotional is...
and sometimes they both come together, or one causes
the other.
For example, someone might use phyical torture as a way
of humiliating you... causing you to feel uncapable of
protecting yourself, or making you feel that they are
superior to you. This causes emotional pain. And
likewise someone might hurt you emotionally but it
leads you to become sick, or to hurt yourself
physcally because you are in your right state of mind.
When I think back into my past though I see that
emotional pain has left deeper wounds. Certain
situations that I lived through have subjected me to
both types of abuse, at one time or another. I can
still remember a lot of the emotional hurt...still
taste it as if it happened yesterday...but it's rare
when I can remember the physical hurting...I think
after a while it became obvious that I had become
immune to physical pain, and that's when the emotional
hurt started getting worse...
I think some of the hardest types of emotional pain on
me now are knowing I've hurt someone dear to me,
knowing someone dear to me is hurt, being hurt by
someone dear to me, having trust broken, having lies
said about me (slander), and being apart from people I
care about...some situations involve more than one of
those feelings...while others might involve just one...
or diffrent feelings...at the end it just hurts...
'ala kulli haal I didnt mean for this to turn into
another depressing post...it's just what I was thinking
about, since I was just talking it over...It's like
3:40 now...I probably should get offline since I've
spent almost all day on it...I haven't spent this much
time online in one sitting for a longgg time.. :/
chotu-meyeh
@ 9/02/2005 03:45:00 PM
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