.:Friday, September 02, 2005:.
my mother's duaa'
I love the way my mom makes duaa for me for the
simplest things. It totally changes my mood and makes
me want to do whatever she is asking from me. For
example, today she goes "don't stand barefoot in the
kitchen"...I'm hot and have a fever and I don't
exactly feel like going upstairs to put on socks or to
wear slippers...but then she adds "rayahee 'albi,
Allah ya rayyah 'albik (bring comfort to my heart, May
Allah swt bring comfort to yours) and makes some more
duaa. How can I resist doing what she asks? I love my
mom.
I really think it was her making duaa for me that made
me able to finish in time today. There was a lot
distracting me and I wasn't feeling up to it. I got
offline close to 5, but alhamdulilah by 6:20 I had
finished cooking, helping mom in dars, showered, and
had abayah on. I don't know how...but I did it,
walhamdulillah.
I had a great great time at the masjid alhamdulilah.
For the first time in months I enjoyed myself this
much. It was just diffrent than usual. There was alot
of people, but that's not what made the difference..
everyone was just in a happy good mood..'Aliyaaaah
came alhamdulilah. That was the highlight of the night
for me. I spent the whole time with her after the
dars...we hung out and talked and talked and talked...
we got home sort of late, close to 10...but
alhamdulillah had a good time.
A lot of times when I feel down I find myself spacing
out...thinking of how great it would be if one could
go to a place free of problems...of sadness...of
hate...of jealousy...of ill feelings...leave in peace
and happiness...It doesn't seem like a reality in this
world, but it does exists...in Jannah inshaAllah. This
world isn't meant to be a place of reward, it's a place
of tests so that inshaAllah later on one will be
rewarded or punished for what they did in this life.
What we go through is a test, but a lot of times it is
brought onto ourselves by our own sins...there is the
ayah, I'm forgetting in what suraah now...one of the Ha
meems...the meaning of the ayah is that what befalls us
is by our own hands, and Allah swt forgives or doesn't
punish/test us for a lot of what we do. Just looking at
myself and the sins I know I have done, all I can say
is subhanAllah...Allah swt indeed is so mercyful. If I
was to be tested for every thing I did wrong, I really
don't know how I could cope. Even now, with the few
tests that I may be going through, I'm not sure how
well I'm doing in them. I try to have the right sabr
through them, but I often find myself complaining and
wishing things would be better.
There is always good that comes from a test.
InshaAllah with every test I'll try to become
better... I just need to work on myself more than I am...
chotu-meyeh
@ 9/02/2005 11:20:00 PM
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