Today has soooo not been a good day for me..walhamdulillah. Maybe I'm making things out to be bigger than they are.. actually I probably am.. but still it wasn't the best of days.

 

I got up sort of late.. around 10.. usually I'm up earlier but I was exhausted.. my mom got upset though.. I dont get why since she knows I'm not feeling good.. but khair.. that sort of ruined my mood in the morning.. Things were fine after that untill I decided to check if my final grades were up. I found out that everything but my math grade was.. and I told my mom my grades.. and ya.. thats  when I got really frustrated and it ruined the rest of the day for me.

 

I had 3 B's. I was happy with them alhamdulilah.. mann if I get a B in math too I'll be estatic.. but mom wasnt.. she got reaallly upset about it.. I dont see why.. and I really dont care why.. actually I know why.. its couse she got so used to me getting A's that a B is a big deal now.. need I remind anyone what I got my first semester in highschool? If I'm not mistaken it was something like an A.. an F.. a D.. and a C or something like that.. so dude I'm happy about these grades.. shes not though.. and shes made it clear to me all day.. bleh.. I'll get to this later..

 

Because I was upset.. and I knew the next thing I'd get talked to about was my room.. I decided to clean it. To be honest, the room was a mess.. it was horrible.. my room is usually one of the messier parts of the house(when I dont share it) but it has never been this bad. Now, the reason my room is messy sometimes is because by the time I've cleaned the house.. done my schoolwork.. helped cook or cooked.. sat with my parents.. seen what my sister needs.. and done something for myself.. I dont have time to clean my room, and even if I did I dont have the energy. Ever since I started to share the room with my sister its been even harder to keep it clean and organized because we both have different ways of doing things..

 

This is the first time since we moved to this last house that I've taken the time out to really clean the room.. usually my sister would do it but her way of cleaning is to sweep everything under the rug and hope it will clean itself.. In order to get things straight I pretty much had to take everything apart and put it back in place.. bookshelves.. closet.. beds.. it took me from dhuhr till maghrib.. This made my mood really bad because I saw how careless my sister was. it just was very annoying having to organize her cloths for her.. organize her things for her and so on.. You'd think by the time a GIRL is 12(almost 13) she'd know how to pick things that have fallen off of the floor and hang them again. She'd pretty much just thrown all cloths on the closet floor, including socks and stuff.. that bugged me alot.. but khair..

 

Anyways.. after that my dad came home and goes "I'm invited to dinner at so and so's house can u make me something to take with me?".. I said ya (was almost done with room).. so I went down and did that.. went to finish the room and then take shower.. but they wanted to pray.. I told them pray and I'd pray later.. anyways.. when I got out of the shower my sister got all upset at me couse she said I took too long and she needed the bathroom to make wudoo.. :(.. she made it up to me by making me something to eat since I hadnt eaten all day.. but still it was annoying.. And ya.. now I'm here ranting.. oh I didnt go to masjid tonight which also bothered me.. just to add more to the list.. :P.

 

I guess it wasnt the most horrible day.. but it was more like a build up of things that have been bothering me from before. I try hard to make everyone around me happy and do what pleases them but its just never enough.. and this whole grade thing today kinda shows what I mean.. actually there were two reasons why this bothered me.. this is one and the second is I'm so tired of everyone having this idea that I'm some genious that must be good at everything I do.. and is giong to grow up to be this fantabulous person.. I'm tired of going to the masjid to have aunties ask me "what are you studying?" "did you get your grades yet, how did you do?" "nooo dont major in that.. you're smart!!! dont waste your time on things like that..you need to go into medicine"..  or my all time favorite "who is older? you or my son/daughter?".. its like get a life so you dont have to intrude on mine.. I'm not a genious or anything close to that.. I just work hard when I need to and try to take the easy way out when I can :P.

 

Another thing that bothers me is how sometimes my parents (and others) treat my like I'm still a kid.. and other times they treat me like an adult.. its like make up your mind.. I personally dont think I'm either.. I'm lost someplace in between.. I guess my moms main issue with me is she thinks I dont manage my time well enough.. I guess shes right some times.. but at the same time she isnt.. I know what I need to do and when I get the time I take care of it.. but ya.. if its not obvious already whats really bothering me the most is that my moms upset with me and that I havnt sucked it up and apologized yet.. ahh khair.. I guess I should know by now that everyones tempers are short and everyones a bit stressed.. and I should let this stuff slide.. and stop making big deals out of small things..

 

OH! the funnest thing I did this week was keep Tassnym in suspense for the whole week thinking I'm going to tell her some biggg news.. what happened was at the begining of the week she said something about how we need a wedding and how I should get married... and I go "you never know.. i just might have something to tell you next time I see you".. and she begs me to tell her.. makes me promise to email her and then I sign out.. she emails me like every day going "I'm still waiting.." and I'll email her back about something random.. and then finally I was talking to her yesterday and I go "ok ok.. I cant hide this from you anymore" and she like "YA ABOUT TIME" and I was like "ok.. this might be a bit of a shock for you but.. but.. I'm in love." and she goes ".." and I was like "ya.. see this guy has totally taken ahold of my heart.. hes the most adorable thing you've ever seen.. his name issssss" and I pause for a good 3 mins.. come back "sorry, about that.. where was I?.. oh ya his name is.. Abd" then I pause for another minute.. " Abd al Qudoos". and she goes "OMG MARYAM YOU FREAK.. YOU MADE ME WAIT ALL WEEK FOR THIS".. ahh it was sweet :D.

 

ahh there was one other thing I wanted to talk about in this post.. it was about what I want to do in break.. but seeing as how bad my writting is right now.. and how long this post is already.. I think I'll put that off..