I've been here for a week now, alhamdulillah it wasn't as bad as I had thought but it's still not great. I love the masjid, the people there, and my uncle, but apart from that I don't like anything. I'm happy that us coming has made a difference for my uncle and that he is feeling better, walillahilhamd, but at the same time I'm really starting to yearn for home. And well..today my mom said "if your father is able to wait another two weeks then I'd really like to stay till your brother comes down here then we can go up with him", and it seems like my father will wait two weeks because if he doesnt then he has to drive down to sacramento again and I know he'll do just about anything to not have to do that again.
When I complained to my mother today (yes I know I shouldn't have) she told me to renew my niyyah.. that I should focus on the fact that we are here to inshaAlalh do our best to help my uncle and cousins for the sake of Allah swt. She also reminded me that I had the choice not to come but I chose to come.. I understand all of this but still 2 more weeks is too much :(.
I miss my students at the school :(. They used to brighten my day every day. I taught at the saturday school here but it wasn't the same. I had a talk with the principal of the school about how we started our every day school in Corvallis and other things like that.. she asked me how much the teachers get paid and when I told her we all volunteer the time she was really shocked.. and then she was like "if you decide to take up my offer and move here we will pay you", I was like nah man its not about making money.. it's about working together to raise a good generation of muslim kids. its about doing things for the sake of Allah.. its about taking time out of our busy schedules to help others.. if the school has extra money we use it to enrich the learning for the kids.. buy a new computer.. buy them gifts..", and don't get me wrong I'm not saying its bad to pay the teachers I'm just saying that I don't think the money should be the focus.. it should be a side factor..
I miss my dad. He called us yesterday and when I talked to him he was like "no one is here to wake up at fajr and make me coffee! No one is here to call me and ask me what I want for lunch and when I'll be home.. no one to make me tea after dinner.. no one to call me if I stay out late after 'isha.. no one to make me something sweet and then tell me I cant eat from it because I'm diabetic".. I was like "ya, I miss you too baba".. I just tried calling him but he wont pick up the home phone or his cell :(.
I miss the masjid.. the next time I see it it will look totally different.. they're starting the construction on the womens area :(. I miss my stable internet connection.. I miss being able to do school work.. I miss having my own room.. I miss being able to get up at night without waking others up.. ahh khair.. I just miss home.
That's not to say that I didn't benifit from this trip and that I dont think I've learned things from it because I have.. I'm just a bit down now so the only emotion I feel like expressing is this one..
Comments:
Awwwww! I miss you too! We really missed you at the wedding. You missed Tassnym's dancing! :-P
It wasn't the same without you...I kept thinking that I wanted to tell you something, but then I remembered that you weren't there. It was sad! :-(
Come back home soon!
It wasn't the same without you...I kept thinking that I wanted to tell you something, but then I remembered that you weren't there. It was sad! :-(
Come back home soon!
:(.. don't remind me about the wedding. I'm really happy for Yasmean though. I called khala Aisha today and she told me all about the wedding, I was like man enough. I can't believe khala Aisha is leaving next month :( that really made me sad I really want to see her before she leaves since she might not be coming back :(. I miss khadija too, she left me a message today while I was cooking. I promised her we'd get together when I get back, I owe her a chocolate cake :P.
So, do I get pictures of all the crazy things you people did at the wedding?
Make duaa I get home soon and that I don't fail all my classes because I think my grades have gone down to a B in two classes a C in one and a D in the other from straight A's when I got here.. mostly due to undone work that I can't find the time or conscintration to finnish :(. I have 2 quizes and a paper due in journalism and my writting partner is about to dump me :P. Humanaties and English are easy though.. walillahil hamd.
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So, do I get pictures of all the crazy things you people did at the wedding?
Make duaa I get home soon and that I don't fail all my classes because I think my grades have gone down to a B in two classes a C in one and a D in the other from straight A's when I got here.. mostly due to undone work that I can't find the time or conscintration to finnish :(. I have 2 quizes and a paper due in journalism and my writting partner is about to dump me :P. Humanaties and English are easy though.. walillahil hamd.
