.:Sunday, August 06, 2006:.
little kids <3
I know I haven't updated in ages. Alot has happened and alot has changed since my last post but I'm not planning on talking about it. I'm posting because something really touched me today and I don't have anyone to share it with right now =P.
I've had pretty bad depression for the past few weeks. I think all that has happened this summer is starting to get to me. I was handling it alright until my uncle, wife, and her girls started staying here. That added more stress and most of all it caused me to constantly supress my feelings and emotions. So basicly im just exhausted..mentaly, physically, emotionally.. What most people see from me is a front. But today I really really did smile and I was truly happy and ya I was happy, walhamduillah.
I'm taking a seminar on the authority of the sunnah and the methodology of hadeeth at ICSD. Alhamdulillah the lectures are nice. During the second half of the day today I couldn't stay focused so I volunteered to do the babysitting. That was the BEST thing I could have done.
There were 4 boys ages 5, 4, 3, and 1 and half or 2 and a 2 year old girl. The two older boys, Ziyaad and Abdullah, were adorable mashaAllah. If you want them to sit down all you have to do is tell them stories of the prophets. They race each other to be the first to recite a surah you ask them to. When it came time to clean up neither one complained and both pitched in. If you give them something they recite in unison (with the 3 year old, zayd, after them) "Jazaakillahu khairan!!". As far as the 3 year old, he was the troublesome one. Always climbing things and refusing to take a nap. But he still listened and followed the older ones. The girl, Aminah, was a sweety and didn't give me much trouble. The littlest boy was the one that made me the happiest. He really missed his mom and would go to the door and start to cry until I picked him then he'd put his head on my shoulder and hold me really tight and cry for a minute or so then look up at me and smile. He fell asleep in my arms and I sat there while telling the kids a story and holding him and I felt so happy.. I can't explain why but it just gave me the biggest smile ever.. me wants a baby =P. I have to say the cutest moments were when the kids would speak to me in bengali and expect me to know what they were saying.
I can't explain why I love kids so much. If I had to chose my favorite thing in this dunyah, after the people I love, it would be children. The way they are so innocent and loving.. it just melts my heart. I miss the kids I used to teach back home :(
Speaking of home.. I miss home. I never thought I'd miss it or the people there this much. I miss my mom. I miss my sister. I miss my room and space. I miss my friends. I miss my khalas. I miss my brother. I miss my school (yes, I actually do). I miss the simple life there. Don't get me wrong, I've had some good times here in San Diego and I have some amazing friends here but its just not.. I dont know.. its just not what I want.
I wish life was simple.
and ya, I'll just end off on that note.
chotu-meyeh
@ 8/06/2006 09:23:00 PM
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